When Im Gone
 

When Im Gone Will Any body Care Will Anybody Cry
Will They Be Happy Or Will they Wish I Was Still Alive
When Im Gone Will I Go To Heaven Or Will I Go To Hell
I Dont Know That Well So Its Only Time That Can Tell

............Thoughts of Dead Soul..............

When I feel the Impact of the Death Trap my Fams gonna be in Black
Infact they will React with Deep Emotions but they gonna stay Intact
They Hard like Crack Strong like a Travelers Back so I aint Worried
Some cries are Acts so i should face the Facts and see after Im Buried
Whos gonna Miss me who will be the ones to Diss me ill find out Soon
Who will look at my picture and Kiss me and who will enjoy my Doom
Will my Close Friends pour some Liqour In my Mind i Picture the Event
Will i be sent to Heaven Or is ur death Ultiimatly Meant to be The End
I hope Not cuz i Dont want to Rot and have my Spot just be Forgoten
I Lived My Plot and i Hope That my Actions were good For Something
Looking at Family Living Happily It Rapidly brings Comfort To My Heart
Hell cant Handle Me so My Insanity Starts cuz my Fams is so Far Apart
Felling So Lonley Need somebody to Hold Me Deaths Lonley who Knew
Then I hear somebody Call me I was like Grandpa its nice to See You

...........Soul Rests In Peace.....................

When Im GoneWill Any body Care Will Anybody Cry
Will They Be Happy Or Will they Wish I Was Still Alive
When Im Gone Will I Go To Heaven Or Will I Go To Hell
I Dont Know That Well So Its Only Time That Can Tell

Link
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=206108

Uppin for Some Honest Feed

this right here was a solid drop!.....i felt tha concept...but ya lines was a tad bit stretched....flow was tight....mulits was good up on ya vocab a bit other than that ur pretty much good ta go 8/10 keep it up and rtf on my o/m's

meh, didn't like the overuse of one-syllable rhyming....kinda choppified the flow and took a little from the enjoyment...........BUT, it was good, i enjoyed the concept you approached, because it wasn't the typical death approach.....you broadened it, took it from a more contemplating angle.....thought provoking, as i like to call it.....hook was nice, i liked it......my advice...you don't have to rhyme every second word on a line...that's forcing it....and pushing it a little.......make it smooth....you know, complete thoughts........word, not bad though, keep up man, twas worth the read

Thanks for the advice Man :thumbup:
Still Uppin

No I didn't like it because I was supposed to be on it. But overall, it was cool. You had some nice flow but I agree with Drakel when he speaks of the 1-syllable rhyming. 7/10

I thought it flowed preety good but i know what ya mean i just wanted to try someting New and Sab i wouldve done this with you but you said to wait till tuesday and i was bored

uppin............................................. .........

i luv diz piece here from u mayne u got good concepts, solid drop, structure was hittin, vocab was up 2 par, meta's were ight, keep writing ~1~LUV~1~THUG~ 9.5/10

uppin............................................. ......