C.S. collab will appear and Mentalz
 

[Mentalz]
… As I sit with my blood-flow tapped an’ spent
Half content ta’ leave the past trapped in cement
I search the plots as a means ta’ purge my thoughts
Cursed and clogged as my brains reversed w/ shots

… So I search… I delve
Until I tire and quit…
… I inquire… I hound
Then I expire and sit…

… It occurred to me about the tenth splash of Crown
Exactly where my life went an’ crashed and Drown
Stashed with frowns, I tend ta’ peel back the facts
Half intact, but they never really resembled that…

…I’m old... I’m young
Now behold the Sun…
…I’ve tried… I’m meek
And now I'm Obsolete…

[Willa]

Greeted with smiles after a long while our task has been completed
We competed they retreated obsolete but the images never deleted
victory an addiction eviction from the only love we've ever known
crucifixion I'm a victim my home entered half grown i linger liek a drone

… So I search… I delve
Until I tire and quit…
… I inquire… I hound
Then I expire and sit…

As I grow older I realize, I lost the war in a sense
Enemy still lives in my head, only defeated to an extent
Lungs deflated Brain vacated ...
... sunny and I can't see the light
I'm Obsolete ive been left to cry all alone in the night:

…I’m old... I’m young
Now behold the Sun…
…I’ve tried… I’m meek
And now I'm Obsolete…

All feedback will be returned. Drop a link.

Mentals
damn man i love your style, them multiples were very good and broguth creativty to your flow and imagery, it really upps a lot of things if you can do it right and you did, you didnt use so much vocabulary all you did was a lil bit mixed with multiples nice mix man, props for the good drop, nice lil hook shit too

Willa
You better stick to topicals or i'll bum bang you:)

anyway on the first part of your verse you coulda used the {,} but i already explain that on aim. for the 2nd half i think it was a lot better, the line were shorter which gave better flow and stucutre, and you didnt use so much vocab, nice choices of words, but dont get me wrong vocab is nice to have, sometimes its nice to have lots, but really that depends on a topic kinda, same with how emcee's choose they're beats, anyway good job both of ya

1

thanks i returned the feed

Thanks for the feedback, ill be sure to hit up your threads. peace.

uppppppppp i will leave feedback on all of your peices i see

i actally liked reading this peice, it was....interesting,

willa,
i have to agree with atticus on this, you lines need to be chopped down just alil bit
and use of workin on multis, wont hurt either...but over all it was a good drop..

Mentalz,
nice work bro, and your multis were good, you kept it together and it was a nice drop.

but anywho, this was some good work keep it up

ok thanks uppin

So amanda does it again, Just let me say i could sing this just by reading it"
I can say i really felt the flow, on both behalves.... Willa, somtimes your simplicity is what makes that ish dope.... Your flow and stucture where key, vocab was alright i diden't see too many meta's tho (gotta love them metas) Mentalz thumbs up man i just wanted to let you know my favorite line was "
As I sit with my blood-flow tapped an’ spent
Half content ta’ leave the past trapped in cement"
You really spit some fire with that.....

Props to both of you !

1

Thanks for the feed fams, it's appreciated.

To everyone else, I plan on droppin' feeds on all your new works, however I don't have much time on-line right now, about 5 minutes each login, but you wont go unnoticed. :)

hell muther fucking yeah!
CS dropped solid on this. Both verses are nice. Damn.CS holding it down like crazy.

my verse ive me some feed(http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=209041)

dang this was hot its actually my style but you into something deeper but yeah multi's are easy for me, but you got to give guys like me a chance don't go getting so deep with the multi's but nice piece don't see any weaknesses

uppin this and atty suck a fatty