the reason
 

i am suicidal....
i wasn't sure what that meant until now,
what someone who really wants to end their life
goes through.....

i see......
the devil, she knows something is wrong
but doesn't bother to find out
what it is......

i love her....
i love her because the devil hates her,
and i know why.... it's because she's beautiful,
and though the devil is blind, she can still see that......

i am happy now.....
the little girl wants to take my picture
so i sit down with her and her toy camera....
i remember why she is so beautiful
and i smile as i say "cheese".....


http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=217724
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=215864

let me start off by saying this is one of my first posts on this site... also i like your style it has good flow to it but it seemed to lack something, it lacked substance. maybe if it was a bit longer... it had a begining and an end but the middle was to vague. this is a good piece with good potential... i think you should add to it fa real tho... but i do like it so stay up!

*Scratches Head* This was a very criptic piece. I dont know man... I kind of didn't like this piece because it was just sooooooooo extremely interperative, yet, it never stayed consistant enough with the content to actually be ABLE to interperate the material. So, all I get from this is abstract poetics with no true, or defined direction. It just seemed that everytime I felt like I was beging to follow, the next stanza just completely through off the previous assumption. I dunno man, I like where it started to go but I really think you need to give it more direction and stay on topic more because this surpasses any for of comprehension... AKA, No one is going to understand this storyline. Stay up though... Each poem I see from you gets alittle better.

....................

lol, thanx.... this piece was different than the ones i usually do, bcuz i left room for reader interpretation..... everything in it is metaphorical, that u would need to know me to understand...... i'd have to write some sort of auto-biography to fully explain this one.....

uihm imma have to agree w/ Atticus on dis one....sorry man but fo real i was lost durin da WHOLE poem....i mean da structure totally threw me off, didnt c any good vocab n wat not....wow....i've seen betta from u.....keep up da work pa...1

i like this i can see the progression just with the first sentences......very simple and thats what i like about it keep em coming!!