to eminem when im gone beat
 

Have you ever knew someone who was an alcoholic
Knew she had a problem, and that you would try to solve it
But all it, happened just in a moment
Blood running down her chest reached for a shirt hold it
Fold it in half, pushing it even harder
Knowing that she wouldn’t last to see your only daughter
Yeah it’s kind of harder, to hold inside the pain
Knowing that your momma no longer, no longer remains
Inside your hart, tearing apart right at the veins
Angels is speaking screaming, screaming out your name
Fearing what happened to her would happen to you the same
It wasn’t my fault mom; you’re the only one to blame
Lives in an instant, if you blink would you probley miss it
Take a picture to remember to let everyone know you miss it
You seen her inside your dreams suddenly no more existence
The fans leak out an anxious scream that’s gone just in an instant
Encore no more it’s just the end of scene what do you mean are you stopping
Lyrics what do they mean keeping it fresh but yet just so clean
My lyrics all sudden there rotten have you forgotten about your mothers embrace knowing that you would die just to take her place and see her place on the other side of the mountain wishing you could drink from holly fountain Scream from the shelter knowing that you couldn’t help her
Upon your face the past erase wit no escape live in world of hate
New you couldn’t live upon the statue you know her life impact you
Look how you react to ever little sound of her voice don’t just look around and rejoice

Chorus 1
So when she’s gone just remain calm
You gave it up on the mic to drop bombs
But always remember memory of your mother
And when it happens just snap back with the juice
Listen to the music as it speaks to you momma
I always love you


I sit here and witness the death of my mother
Who had my back through what ever in any weather?
Cold hot or warm Embrace in the hart torn apart a burned
Every time you start to see your mother
To love each other threw night and day
Anyway to get her pack it’s whack
I hope it don’t happen to you
You wouldn’t know how to react
Know how to feel the pain is real
It turns in my guts like a thousand cuts
Not enough to stop rapping
In my words my mother lives
In the heaven my mother gives
Back to me heavenly angel I see
And one day she’ll be with me

chorus 2
before she gone just hug yo mom
on point
believe it could happin while you smokin a joint
nothing is to good just love your hood
give courage to your mom which you know you should
before your second is gone.

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Gotta drop twolinks to feed you've left recently or this is gona' get closed. :(

Seems like it follows Em's concept alot, same rythem. Nice wordplay and Idea. But sorry to say I can't really get into it...even though it's not biting, it just seems to close to it for me. No what i'm saying? No hate. Peace.

Bit of a crit. When you write to a beat, try and switch the concept to something different, even the rythem so it doesnt sound like they're saying it when you read it. Pay attention to your structure a little better... alot of people dont think it matters... but an acurate syllable count goes along way. Vocab and Multies. Rhyming with the one syllable words internal of finishing a line like :

My dog sat strapped on cats like a wack misshap
So my dad trapped a bat with a baseball bat//

Hella retarded example but you get the idea.

Peace

thanx for the post and feed back

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