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-   -   new shit (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=220094)

allik war 01-20-06 06:15 PM

new shit
 
-intro-

yo rv be sleepin or hatin shit wut am i talkin about 20 dicks perform like pussies on this rapsite...who swear this english 101 or sumtin...
ya'll act like ya'll neva seen a wigga before,these niggaz pussies is sore,
as soon as i perform a 2 step in the door,girls throwin me they drawers//
yo look muthafuckas...

-verse1-

im swingin lyrical swords ignitin a lyrical warfare cuz lyrically ive been here,
been there done that,wit my pen,pad and mic prepared 4 this lyrical combat,
true niggaz neva die alone,flash the chrome,put 2 in a bitches dome,
catch me in the prone postition covered wit camoflauge,shoot a bitch up
til he start shiverin and shakin wit a severe hemerage,smoke a pound of weed
a day 2 complete the leverage,a savage beast,str8 from the streets,bringin
that blazin heat,dat boils ya blood on 800 degreez by my ammo's-charge//

im untouchable,unstopable,indisputible,rebel,shovelin dirt ova these bitch made devel's,i contain a essence stonger than ya'lls on all level's, i can care less about winnin battles,i play these fake musicians like that boy did the devil down in georgia wit fiddle's,call me the riddler cuz i keep ya'll guessin wit my riddles,i got an arsenal of weapons while ya'll carry water pistol's,im chewin up competion rite down 2 da gritty gristle's,washin'em down wit they eminem like soda missle's,schoolin niggaz sit down til the bell ring ya dismisal,niggaz talkin bout my mission's impossible,but like tom cruise i prove
anything's possible,and when im done in the booth they gonna have 2 rush the mic 2 the hospital//

i kill shit,spill shit,that real shit,hate it or love it im trill bitch,think this a game bitches but this ain't kill switch,truth is a lot of you niggaz jus fake snitches,jeoulous of a wigga wit "nigga" dreams of goin from rags 2 riches,im vicious,young and reckless,bringin drama like the young and the restless,stick corks in ya lungs leavin ya breathless,fill shells in ya vest,leavin ya chestless,disputed one of the best kid who wanna test this!//

-hook-

i kno wut u did las summer the way my chorus got u on a hook,
wuts wit all ya questions ya'll bitches must b writin a book,
bugged out in my sig and bitches get scared when they look,
pussies got it twisted thinkin sum words will get me shook//

-verse2-

abc to the 123 simple english mathematics,these actors clownin my rhymes,
but im bringin dat drama like cinematics,its tragic,writin balistics,tweakin
they characteristics,rising above the hectic hate,debate my philosiphy,
cuz these hataz aint stoppin me so i blow'em away like i do the smoke from chronic,isn't it ironic,these moronic idiots cant see my diabolical scheme is demonic//

i got it that motivation,of sayin fuck the world while flippin 2 middle fingers 2 this hatin nation,cuz like i said when i first came out...................
the world todays nuttin but a playaz nation,the fuck all the playa hatin,im countin these benjamins,washingtons,and lincolns,wtf u bitches thinkin,we just a bunch of niggaz workin for satan,ima stay smokin and drinkin//

i see ya'll blinkin,put dont close ya eyes,or ya demise,will b set by my rhymes dat hypnotize and control guns w/o touchin them,many came & went,i came and hit the game wit a wrench,thowin a crowbar in the game,watch all these madd rappers isolate my words 2 try 2 disect my flames that burnin these
fake emcees who try every day 2 make a mockery of me,but im cocky g,i'd shoot myself 2 end the whole contraversy,but i dont exist,hataz is pissed cuz i flow through the mist swing wit tidal wave fist n put a bitch in a hearse g,
man fuck this song ya'll bitches cant touch me,faze me or hush me,cuz u bitch str8 long john silvers like hush puppies!!!!!!!!!!//

-hook-

Speats 01-20-06 06:37 PM

okay now, work on the structure and ill read, cuz for now, im gonna be all messed up

allik war 01-20-06 07:41 PM

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=220045

here's one link bone collector its the way i write u might not see how u write but i do cuz its a speed rap thats my shit...sorry its a bit long but i had a lot 2 say now please real feedback tell me wut ya'll think n if u a hata dont waste mine or rv's time ty

H.D. 01-20-06 07:41 PM

^ he's right you're sturcture's not hott... makes your lines look very unorganized... and from what I can see it doesn't look like you flow with any kind of cadnace... which means ya flows off... lyrically there really wasn't anything in this that really stands out... you do have inter-connecting rhymes... but no really hard hitting or simple ruthlessly harsh lines... nothing that'll make someone stop and be like damn that was a hot ass bar...

-Substance- 01-20-06 07:47 PM

both are right...fix your lines, even if it is a fast rap you need to shorten them up so peeps will read it, i read it and your flow was definately off and your rhyming needs to improve homie......do what we tell you and you'll be better

rtf in a OM or A Battle

Germ 01-20-06 07:50 PM

you need to post 2 links of feedback, i'll keep this open, but any futher post you make after this must have another link

allik war 01-20-06 07:51 PM

tahnx for the honesty and for not hating on me i been too much of that cuz of these haters on rv ill hit ya'lls up now

allik war 01-20-06 08:28 PM

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=219964

ayt drakel and bonecollector there's my second link now please can i get some real feed n no bullshit hatin crap 1

Valerie 01-20-06 09:00 PM

lol allik look at the topic i posted in the battle!

andr u ready to be 0-4? :thumbup:

allik war 01-20-06 09:16 PM

no im nto gettin 0-4 and i already posted the topic and my verse were playin my game my rules not urs bitch ty

Valerie 01-20-06 09:19 PM

k then wtf is the topic? :huh:

Mentor 01-20-06 09:44 PM

shm, when the fuck are u gonna learn that the n word doesnt make u cool :bored:

Valerie 01-20-06 10:04 PM

lol hes a fuckin idiot dude ignore that.

allik war 01-21-06 12:08 AM

When When U Hatin Retards Realize I Dont Use Nigga/niggaz Cuz I Think Its Kool Goddamn Ya'll Hataz Is A Breed Of Seriously Dumb Muthafuckas!!! Real Feedback No Hate Or Free Postin Bullshit Peace Uppin This Quit Sleepin Rv Its Time 2 Wake Up

Valerie 01-21-06 12:20 AM

well for a dude whos white actin black Ni**a aint a coo word to use man use cracka or some shit dumbfuck.


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