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-   -   "The Lion's Den" ft. Mindless & Sharp. (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=220399)

atti? 01-24-06 12:25 PM

"The Lion's Den" ft. Mindless & Sharp.
 
Mindless
My soul is enclosed in skin and bones
that will hopefully be ripped open
by the lords that control this worlds jungle.
Part of the golden cycle is to divide men
who tend to end up in the lions den;
showing them the privilege of spending
energy fending off the so called enemy.
Let them fall steady and separate each
bend in-between heaven and the extreme,
that keep sweeping our feet into dirt cheap
beliefs that scream at the dreaming sheep.
There's no need to be defending me
while your asleep, leaping in deep deceit
when every century God is sending peace.

Atticus
A steel rumble, thunder clouds peel
I like the feel of dicks in my buts for real.
Poors for sums, years, months more
than normal under the Lion's gut roar.
Our age old agony sores Muhabi pace,
sand grain and shatter glass leash cages
trace our path down the back allies of Main St.
Ever cement born corner the mother land
stands to repent the new world order.
Lamp posts topple and fold, grip its handle
and take position; Create gods great division.
As that taxi cab's scowl begins to pronounce
and its low pitch growl digs a hole, down
in your soul you dance; Become a man, GO!
Kill the beast, his heart will beat no more...
For crossbreed streets have willed your sword.

But in the plains great progression, is you,
tangled in the old ways with dangling rules.
Victim of circumstance is Sam the Libra.
Wrapped down now in black and white slash,
the hunt's contradict is new attack... The Zebra.

Sharp
My life in poetic aesthetics was never regretted,
I am a phonetic weapon neglected by my brethren.
Genetics invented me through immaculate conception.
Relentless strive for perfection, nothing less than impressive.
Fifteen perfect syllables for every line created.
Sedated optic nerves leave no persuasion for evasion.
Meaning that physical structure doesn’t affect the ones hurt.
Verbal ruptures spawn on your esophagus until blood squirts
from every orifice. My words morph into spoken bliss.
“Tears from opened wrists flood broken fists of the Eternalist.”
An abstract dumbass, not intelligent enough to gun blast-
Or make drug cash. Incompetent fool, you shoulda’ just slung crack.
You’re dissecting your soul with a spoon and have built your own tomb!
You hung onto your faith thinking you’d be resting at home soon.
But Hip Hop betrayed you and now planet earth is too mainstream.
You’ll completely transcend the chronic clouds and Hell’s flames blazing
Instead, you’ll be captured by vinyl tombstones and plastic plaques.
An originator marked as a enthusiastic hack-
Trapped by your own talents and legendary tracks forever
Because you’ve showed more stagnation than these kids show endeavor.



------------------------------------------------
I replied to King Solo & Allik War's OM's.

Lil C 01-24-06 02:01 PM

Good Shit!!!!

Fav lines:Lamp posts topple and fold, grip its handle
and take position; Create gods great division.

good structure; i was really feelin atticus verse more than da others....but ALL of u did well.......vocab was on point, hmm saw a few multies n wat not....keep up da good work....n RTF on my new OM "Dreamin of Reality"

atti? 01-25-06 04:57 PM

Wow, only one responce? *Shakes Head*

Thanks alot C, and ya... I'll respond to that shortly :kiss:

I Am Unreal. 01-26-06 10:37 AM

It got better and better as it went along, pretty abstract but imagery picked up towards the end. Good use of emotion and structure throughout was really appealing, one of the hardest things to do in writing is use emotion when writing an abstract piece but you guys nailed it. good work fellas, i want in a collab some day.

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=220459

-Substance- 01-26-06 11:05 AM

i think atty did the best verse. simple, clear and effective.......nice vocab and the structure of your verse was better as well. the topic was pretty good. the emotion delivery was felt more in atty's verse as well, it seemed as if the other two verses were only to get you ready for atty.....lol

atti? 01-30-06 02:38 PM

Thanks for the feedback.

scanz 01-30-06 02:56 PM

that shit was pretty good, i never saw it b4 cus i didnt really like the name (sorry bout that lol)
but i reallly did like it. nice muties and vocab, and everything seemed 2 fit right in 2gether.
really great job. keep it up kid

S to the Z

atti? 02-05-06 06:39 PM

Thanks alot for the feedback man.

Black City 02-05-06 07:41 PM

nice shit right here...i'd love to collab on sum shit like dis...diggin tha whole vibe...kinda off tha wall cuz it aint common...but still an enjoyable read...nice shit yall...easy

atti? 02-07-06 08:54 PM

Anytime you've got a topic just Pm me, I'll write something up by the next day or so.

Kawn Flixx 02-07-06 09:02 PM

Word up homie this was sick..i was really feeling it your feelings and emotions were on point and i could really image what was going on ..you all had pretty decent vocabulary usuage..and great imagery.. Everyone structure was very good...So overall this was a very good drop nice job...keep it up.

Elegiac 02-07-06 09:38 PM

A steel rumble, thunder clouds peel
I like the feel of dicks in my buts for real.
^The fuck? lol

Victim of circumstance is Sam the Libra.
Wrapped down now in black and white slash,
the hunt's contradict is new attack... The Zebra.
^Nice

My life in poetic aesthetics was never regretted,
I am a phonetic weapon neglected by my brethren.
^Cool

Part of the golden cycle is to divide men
who tend to end up in the lions den;
^Cool again

Those were just some of the lines that stood out to me..This had great flow all throughout..pretty nice imagery..I felt Atticus could have down a little better though..structure was good for atticus all...good drop.

atti? 02-08-06 01:20 PM

Drakel what the fuck did you do to my drop you faggot? Aside from the fact that that shit is just homo in general, aren't you in my crew? Fix that shit now.

Germ 02-08-06 11:15 PM

yeah, my buddy was on my comp when i was drunk


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