paranoia strikes me
 

on december 18 2006 walking to a store wit a bag of chips
paranoid from the glock on my hip tried to keep calm and regriped
noone would know that im packing this shit graped a soda took a sip
made a quick tip as the cashier flipped my glocked sliped two shots dripped
out the hulster peranoia ate at my composier flashed back i snaped tracked and react like a soilder the war done been over red lights flashed cops dashed
to the side of my window busting out my seat i won't make this that simple
im going down sheding blood affending scrubs deffending cuz dashed out the club
into a tinted chevy wit rolling dubs cops petrolling heavy grab my semi automatic
exploding trucks as i dived into an aquduct im acting up and ready to realese rage
like two dogs starving in the same cage on a rampage
highlights on the news im on the front page for days
i ran wit no food and little salt water a little thought starter
am i sane or crazy is it me or can i see hades maybe
thats where im ment to burn poof i woke up knowing its not my turn
i start to squirm my hands bard wit black scars invisions of masked starts
cloud my thoughts and feelings of hatred destout of war brought
by one being the only one on earth lefts standing is me that im seeing
peranoia strikes me to soon see the comming of all wars start with me

lol, nice, you did have better imagery but try to improved your vocab and make every line count to make me picture a walkthrough video. you was good on imagery but try adding some metaphors and multies

Nice, imagery was great, up your vocab cuz it was basic but dope man...i give it a 8/10...word...1...keep at it

uppin..........uppin... for more feedback come on yaw don't catch your z,s on this

Imagery was really good on this, flow was cool, but ur vocab needs increasing. The was the only problem i had with it really. But nice job with this, deff. an 8.5/10. Nice job keep it up...peace.

blunt ed sucks .

well thanx for the feedback everyone oh and drunken munkey i don't know how i can get mad from a couple words from a person named drunken monkey the name gets more laughs then chris rock at the appolo and thats pretty bad hommie

This was alright S but again peep the other thread u need to elevate on a
few things but u got potential.

1~

thanx for the feed back yaw i need to get more metaophore's i know and better vocab but i would need help with that sort of stuff wll thanx peeps

hey yaw i could use some more advise uppin,...............uppi.................uppi.... ............uppin......