til the day i die
 

til i die,i gotta get mine
i aint talkin coins when i say i flip dimes
not talkin saliva when i say i spit rhymes
am i wack cause i dont get no post no views
same way when i was young no clothes no shoes
the hood is the only niggas that know what i go through
i gotta get money and fuck these hoes too
grew up not responding back if i didnt know you
stroking on these broads might leave these hoes bruised

b.i.p to the niggas before me
nigga think just because they watch the wire they know the bmore story
i aint hammer when i make it i aint going to end up broke
cause the only way ima choke is if you attach my neck to rope
when people say im killing them there not being sarcastic
cause im the only nigga that didnt turn being a g to a fashion
like a doctor i keep this gangsta shit alive
cause they claim its getting old when its the way i survive
on these street is starting to look like hell
cause the niggas you would expect to go to jail,changed there style up to pharell



http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=239528
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=239476

ill let it slide this tiem but go read a tutorial on how to giv efeed

wow

you need alot of work kid

basic rhyming, scant vocab and brought nothing original to the table whatsoever

and don't get you panties in a twist and think this is some hate reply or something

you just need to read more dope shit dropped by better heads and keep writing, only way forward

seems you're at a pretty early stage of rhyming, try and play with rhyme schemes, add multies, better imagery, originality, twists and come with some better material that the readers gonna enjoy looking at. lengthen your drops too, cos that 8 bars doesnt let me get into it at all

can i get some feed

make it longer and add more detail to your rhymes, its plain simple and on the same level as about 40000 other text writers out there.

if you want to stand out from the crowed make a effort and get original. switch up your rhyme scheme, end line rhymes are weak and wack.

No hate, simply advise.

stay dropping,learning and elevating.

can i get some feed