see what i need? got help?
 

ayo i listen to all my music before my rymes is all written//
tryin to extend my lines and hyro dry all my gliphics//
when i post a line and freestyle off the head//
my lines past thru the matrix and end up as the lead//
my chambers inside my heart, pump twice as fast thru my head//
im always open armed for critics tellin me of my flaws//
i'll still hold on my grind incase a nigga wanna pull out and draw//



YO......CRITICS ACCEPTED!!!!!!! FEEL OR NOT

yo demise, pretty nice man, expanding your vocab would help ALOT tho, and ..my chambers inside my heart, pump twice as fast thru my head//??? did'nt get that as i've been smokin a bit,, all good tho, keep elevating cuz!!!!

AIGHT SON....THANX YO.....THAT LINE I DROPED...MEANS...MY HEART IS RATHER NOT MY ACTUAL HEART IN MY CHEST, BUT ACTUALLY MY HEAD.....THATS MY MAIN HEART

ohhhh i feel ya, then shit....it was better than i thought! keep it up man.

yep you need to work on vocab
Kind of a simplistic flow as well... work on branching out a lengthening those lines somewhat...

I'd suggest trying your hand at cypher for awhile then working up to an open mic.

up your vocab...keep it coming though

Demise, U Need To Extend Your Vocabulary Extremely.....And Also Need To Extend Your Wordplay Dramatically.....your Piece Was Mediocre.....Add Some Multi's And Some Punches, then See How U Like It....:D


I Know U WIll......Pz

i suggest you read some verses from some of the vets... check out elite front lines and rb legends for examples of good verses. Study them and learn from them