grown up hard, (gang related)
 

born as a baby
grown up hard
slayin me
for my trouble
lifes like football
dont fumble
if i slip or stumble
my whole life will...
crumble.. to a hell
id wish id never fell
in the first place
now my lifes gone to
waste, do somethin wrong..
get chased, get beat
takin me right of my feet
so i could fit in
now everything i do is a sin
life i lost never to win
like a sharp pain of a pin
goin right into ur heart
gettin higher on the chart
so you can get more respect
if you low u get beat and neglect
kill you with direct affect
you cant stand it
they wont more outta you,
the demand it, its against the law
so harsh they band it
but i have to do it
and if i dont........my life,
i just blew it

dat wuz fly cuzz..no doubt

A bit of a strange structure............but was ai

you got your feelings across.....thats a must in poetry

Keep droppin tho you got a lil poet in you wantin to come out
i think.....ai

-pz

best in the west dead in death i dont really make sence

thanx to the people who said things that made
sence..... Drop some more in here please, aight thanx
pz

hit dis up for me please, holla.
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hit dis up for me please, holla.
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That was nice nigga

people hit this 4 me please, holla..........
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Emotions were there...portrayed in a fairly simple, short sharp way...

...what i'd say is try to expand. And fill each line (especially in between each line) up more. It seemed loose at times. Though the emotions were there...

..resp...

hit this people, gimme feed back, ok.
holla

come on people, what ya think?
holla back

hit dis up for me please, holla.
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it was pretty dope..on the real