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-   Poetic Scriptures (http://community.rapverse.com/forumdisplay.php?f=9)
-   -   grown up hard, (gang related) (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=62110)

dice-roller 06-30-03 01:22 AM

grown up hard, (gang related)
 
born as a baby
grown up hard
slayin me
for my trouble
lifes like football
dont fumble
if i slip or stumble
my whole life will...
crumble.. to a hell
id wish id never fell
in the first place
now my lifes gone to
waste, do somethin wrong..
get chased, get beat
takin me right of my feet
so i could fit in
now everything i do is a sin
life i lost never to win
like a sharp pain of a pin
goin right into ur heart
gettin higher on the chart
so you can get more respect
if you low u get beat and neglect
kill you with direct affect
you cant stand it
they wont more outta you,
the demand it, its against the law
so harsh they band it
but i have to do it
and if i dont........my life,
i just blew it

Ghost Dogg 06-30-03 11:32 AM

dat wuz fly cuzz..no doubt

Dadi Kewl 06-30-03 12:19 PM

A bit of a strange structure............but was ai

you got your feelings across.....thats a must in poetry

Keep droppin tho you got a lil poet in you wantin to come out
i think.....ai

-pz

J.K.O 06-30-03 12:32 PM

best in the west dead in death i dont really make sence

dice-roller 06-30-03 01:53 PM

thanx to the people who said things that made
sence..... Drop some more in here please, aight thanx
pz

dice-roller 06-30-03 10:48 PM

hit dis up for me please, holla.
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dice-roller 07-03-03 02:11 AM

hit dis up for me please, holla.
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Fierce Shadow 07-04-03 01:07 AM

That was nice nigga

dice-roller 07-05-03 02:05 AM

people hit this 4 me please, holla..........
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varentao 07-05-03 06:07 AM

Emotions were there...portrayed in a fairly simple, short sharp way...

...what i'd say is try to expand. And fill each line (especially in between each line) up more. It seemed loose at times. Though the emotions were there...

..resp...

dice-roller 07-06-03 02:19 PM

hit this people, gimme feed back, ok.
holla

dice-roller 07-09-03 07:12 PM

come on people, what ya think?
holla back

dice-roller 07-16-03 07:57 PM

hit dis up for me please, holla.
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BFire 07-16-03 11:10 PM

it was pretty dope..on the real


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