Inside My Mind
 

Look deep inside myself
check conditions of the soul
rethinkin about lessons taught about Christ Himself
Think twice before movin without help
Look at the life Iv'e run through
I'm Hispanic, from the gutter, and I'll make it
Breakin white society rules
People live just to see others fail
Roots from my mind spring from thoughts
like inspiration perceived through my retina
into my brain into the endless labriynth
I have built for myself
But into a lab for testing
see if it's real
If it passes the test it is put into work
I open up my book
My mind creates a vision
and i begin to write
work up a beat and flow
my words i start to recite
beautiful imagery is what i hope i bring
happiness automatically paints a picture
of flowers and birds that sing
my muscles begin to work
through my body
a million messages are sent
speed is so quick to determine
how from the brain to a cell
to my hand and then to begin to write
Words, truly felt from my heart
the love I fell is true
Simply enough
I write these words, so beautiful
because I see these words in You
I Love you

UP!

With well over a thousand posts you're certainly not a newbie, but I still aint never seen you around either. I aint sure why nobody is replying to your stuff, there is probably a good reason I just don't know it.

Anyway, you write real good and I can tell it comes from the heart and mind. I'm not sure right now how to praise your peice other then saying it certainly deserves praise. It's seriously well written poetry.

~Shalom~

I don't do poetry alot, i post more Open Mics, but thanks on the comment.

Seems a quite personal piece. The way you wrote it most definetly suggests that. It doesn't follow too much of a structure or 'plan'. It just carries on going line to line sometimes a bit too within itself. but hey, it's part of what the piece is.

A nice piece.

..resp...

WoW...my last poetry piece, I gotta get back in here.

nice, real nice
i realize i'm late, but better that than never

this was a nice read, portrayed the
more personal outlook on life, and the ties to other things,
the caused mind set,
and emotion, i liked it
everything was str8, nice read
keep writing

What's up skidz? Just looking around and saw your name. You know I had to peep right? Well you did get an emotion out of me, so job well done. I felt as if you were focusing this message for reasons only known by you. If it was for a certain someone, or even just a piece brought fromm deep within, you did a real good job. Hey it's nice to read some poety from someone in love with the open mic forum, great job. Don't worry too much about the specifics and structure, just let your thoughs flow and in time everything else will come together as you want it. Keep dropping in here from time to time, it's a very good read.

Much respect
~Bounce~

Bounce...Long time. Thanks for the feedback, I think I'll start getting over here alot more, Alot of the stuff here is amazing. Thanks for the feedback from everyone.