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07-24-03, 11:56 PM | #1 | ||||
Straight Savage.
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Inside My Mind
IP: 8BEC CACE
Look deep inside myself
check conditions of the soul rethinkin about lessons taught about Christ Himself Think twice before movin without help Look at the life Iv'e run through I'm Hispanic, from the gutter, and I'll make it Breakin white society rules People live just to see others fail Roots from my mind spring from thoughts like inspiration perceived through my retina into my brain into the endless labriynth I have built for myself But into a lab for testing see if it's real If it passes the test it is put into work I open up my book My mind creates a vision and i begin to write work up a beat and flow my words i start to recite beautiful imagery is what i hope i bring happiness automatically paints a picture of flowers and birds that sing my muscles begin to work through my body a million messages are sent speed is so quick to determine how from the brain to a cell to my hand and then to begin to write Words, truly felt from my heart the love I fell is true Simply enough I write these words, so beautiful because I see these words in You I Love you
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Only God can judge me, Who THE FUCK IS YOU?! |
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07-25-03, 11:40 PM | #2 | ||||
Straight Savage.
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IP: 8BEC CACE
UP!
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Only God can judge me, Who THE FUCK IS YOU?! |
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07-26-03, 04:32 AM | #3 | |||||||
Atra Ludio or Hip-Hop?
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IP: 4577 CD9A
With well over a thousand posts you're certainly not a newbie, but I still aint never seen you around either. I aint sure why nobody is replying to your stuff, there is probably a good reason I just don't know it.
Anyway, you write real good and I can tell it comes from the heart and mind. I'm not sure right now how to praise your peice other then saying it certainly deserves praise. It's seriously well written poetry. ~Shalom~ |
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07-26-03, 01:03 PM | #4 | ||||
Straight Savage.
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IP: 8BEC CACE
I don't do poetry alot, i post more Open Mics, but thanks on the comment.
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Only God can judge me, Who THE FUCK IS YOU?! |
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07-27-03, 07:56 PM | #5 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: 84B7 08E9
Seems a quite personal piece. The way you wrote it most definetly suggests that. It doesn't follow too much of a structure or 'plan'. It just carries on going line to line sometimes a bit too within itself. but hey, it's part of what the piece is.
A nice piece. ..resp... |
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11-18-03, 08:55 PM | #6 | ||||
Straight Savage.
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IP: 8BEC CACE
WoW...my last poetry piece, I gotta get back in here.
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Only God can judge me, Who THE FUCK IS YOU?! |
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11-18-03, 09:07 PM | #7 | |||
Flyweight
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IP: 1A71 4B47
nice, real nice
i realize i'm late, but better that than never this was a nice read, portrayed the more personal outlook on life, and the ties to other things, the caused mind set, and emotion, i liked it everything was str8, nice read keep writing
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~.:Soft Focus:.~ {--Deacon (\_/~\_/) Content --} {-Calisto (\_/~\_/) .:Lady Sage:.-} {--Filed (\_/~\_/) Domain 9--} {-Thrust (\_/~\_/) Know1 (\_/~\_/) Emotion-} { --Rule (\_/~\_/) Mental God--} Poetry Don't Look Into My Eyes Forgotten Understanding Once Again "It requires wisdom to understand wisdom: the music is nothing if the audience is deaf." |
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11-19-03, 06:03 PM | #8 | |||||||
"Cuz bruk said so"
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IP: F005 00C3
What's up skidz? Just looking around and saw your name. You know I had to peep right? Well you did get an emotion out of me, so job well done. I felt as if you were focusing this message for reasons only known by you. If it was for a certain someone, or even just a piece brought fromm deep within, you did a real good job. Hey it's nice to read some poety from someone in love with the open mic forum, great job. Don't worry too much about the specifics and structure, just let your thoughs flow and in time everything else will come together as you want it. Keep dropping in here from time to time, it's a very good read.
Much respect ~Bounce~
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FUCKA BABYLON BANDIT!!! |
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11-19-03, 06:15 PM | #9 | ||||
Straight Savage.
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IP: 8BEC CACE
Bounce...Long time. Thanks for the feedback, I think I'll start getting over here alot more, Alot of the stuff here is amazing. Thanks for the feedback from everyone.
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Only God can judge me, Who THE FUCK IS YOU?! |
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