New Style!!!!!!!!! Please Check!
 

aiyo...
I'm just your average cat known to blast lyrical gats with grandly planned tactics,
only at whack mc's, hood rats and avid crack addicts that try beefin back at me.
I was sent to cut up and destruct any rhyme scheme you could conduct,
I leave you bent outta shape like fat people losing weight and still blowin up any verse you construct.
My record shows "one" and "O" but I dunno why my win percentage aint larger.
I'm steadily hittin targets from quarter miles and leave yall gradually behind me gettin farther...
Aint nobody harder, aint nobody smarter, when battlin me, it would be in your best intrest to bring a partner,
Cause my verbal grenades bring down crews tryin to do the same,
I'm lyrically insane... fuck this open mic, I done forgot to pack my brain, yo................

lol


hit me up wit some feed back... this is my new style... I need input.
A.T.

i thought that post was hella good. i think the new style is tight and keep postin wit it. anyway back to the post, the vocab and wordplay were good. the content and topic were original. keep postin wit that new style i was feelin it.

yo can u return the favor with my post?
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=81167
thanx

peace.....

ya new style is tight , it seems to flow good

"My record shows "one" and "O" but I dunno why my win percentage aint larger.
I'm steadily hittin targets from quarter miles and leave yall gradually behind me gettin farther...
Aint nobody harder, aint nobody smarter, when battlin me, it would be in your best intrest to bring a partner,"

like the way you brought these lines in talkin bout ya battle record

keep the stlye.......ill keep checkin ya flo...................aight

Very nice imagery/ wordplay, good rhyme scheme

nice start:

I'm just your average cat known to blast lyrical gats with grandly planned tactics,
only at whack mc's, hood rats and avid crack addicts that try beefin back at me.

nice flow to the whole thing too

Cant really think of criticisms due to fact that im a newbie and the difference in culture (UK US), EG: Because you from US i know shit bout ur culture

but cant fault the lyrical structure, wordplay etc, all good


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=81442

aight... thanx for the feed.

STILL UPPIN!!!!!!!

UPPIN!!!!!

yo that sit was a tight little rhyme. nice new style
keep it postin
....................D

thanx for the props... can anyone tell me how to IMPROVE it though... that was the main reason for posting it. lol ;p

i like the new style. vocab was nice and it flowed well. started out really well.

I'm steadily hittin targets from quarter miles and leave yall gradually behind me gettin farther...
Aint nobody harder, aint nobody smarter, when battlin me, it would be in your best intrest to bring a partner,

really liked ^

all i can say is stick with it and try and drop something a lil longer. i would like to see more of your new style. dont really have anything negative to say, keep dropping.

Yeah this peice was good, it was a good read i thought, Your vocab was good, and the peice flowed pretty good too, wordplay was good as well, overall id say it was a good peice, keep dropping, and if you get the chance drop some feedback in my peice called "losing hope" thanks.

....yo dats dope
....good rhythim
....try doing suming longer may then itll b easier to c a weakness in it

...props