Dont fuck wit me
 

Aight yall i know this aint as good as my past one or two posts, but i wrote this durin school, and i know the flow isnt perfect so whatever, i have nothin to lose by postin this, so check it out, yo, yo

Hook-
My minds a fuckin mystery/
u may have said uve dissed me/
but do u have the balls to come out and claim/
cause when ur beefin wit me nothins the same/

Verse 1-
u better think twic bout what u say to me/
cause when u try to slay me, those comment always stay with me/
and i guarantee i aint the typ to take shit lightly/
but if ur gonna talk shit in spite of me, u better hope u can fight like me/
cause when i throw down theres no goin back/
my fists r packed, and theres no such thing as my losin, thats a fact/
when push goes to shove and i just snap/
ur pretty much trapped, and better except to see flyin caps/
cause i aint afraid to bust out some gats and just let go/
after a few empty clips ull end up bein my ho, cause no one fucks wit this G.I. Joe/

Hook-
my minds a fuckin mystery/
u may have said uve dissed me/
but do u have the balls to come out and claim/
cause when ur beefin wit me nothins the same/

Verse 2-
i love bein kool and tryin to make friends/
but when someone talks shit my joy just descends, my view of them starts to bend/
so if u dont like me or just aint feelin it/
dont start throwin a fit, just leave me alone and keep all ur shit/
if u make one wrong move ur gonna face this nightmare/
cause i aint in the mood to fuck around and stare, but u gettin out alive is gonna be a sight thats rare/
a smart move would be just to leave me alone/
my suggestion to u is to just head home, cause id end up snappin ur bones/
every motherfucker who stirs shit up consider this a warnin/
if u dont follow along fists will be pourin, and to the cat who wants to fight, yea ill floor him/

Hook-
my minds a fuckin mystery/
u may have said uve dissed me/
but do u have the balls to come out and claim/
cause when ur beefin wit me nothins the same/

peace.....

^^^i know its kinda wack, but im goin to my dads this weekend and i dont know how long ill have to write or post, so i thought id post now and get read replies before i go there.

peace.....

well this is the least i can do... u feedback on me all the time (links at bottom)

given what u said 'Aight yall i know this aint as good...' i wont comment on the flow

hook - straight to the point but try to keep the lines around the same syllabal (spelling?) count

1st verse - the multies were exremely basic but better than nothing, the vocab was a little weak...

2nd verse - better one in my opinion

if u make one wrong move ur gonna face this nightmare/
cause i aint in the mood to fuck around and stare, but u gettin out alive is gonna be a sight thats rare/

best lines!!
Slept on...
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=81616
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=81183
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=81665

shitty.

^^^yo dude, ur right i was feelin 'Back in Hell' more than this, but dont worry about it. for a 14 year old white kid, no offense dude, but not to many people on this site fit that profile, from ur age to ur race, but ur pretty damn good. people have been ratin u just like everyone else and ur still pretty ill. so yea this wasnt ur best, not ur worst though, that first post was wack, but ur elevatin and its noticieable. just go back and read ur first post and ull see what im sayin. so hold ur chin up, and keep postin, keep elevatin, and keep provin urself as a rapper. good luck.