Mind Theory (warning, is very long)
No, it doesnt have anything to do with a member on this board who goes by the same name "Mind Theory".... this is very long, its about how I cant seem to understand myself and my life... ive been going through heaps of shit at the moment... and i dont know what i think, how i feel, or what i should do... this is just to represent how fucked up i am right now.... my first open mic:
A bottle about to bust from pressure build-up I've concealed enough, it's time to put my trust In my choice to use this as my voice of expression An oppresive proffession, fit to release aggression I have to make a confession, when your in my presence It's all an fake act or con, pain is my true essence And that pain is derived from strain in my life That is delivered every night, but I didn't subscribe To this mag of sorrow, this newspaper of strife This hollow crater-like life I live through each night I'm trapped in a physchological jail with no way out Strapped to the electric chair, can't afford the bail pay-out It's like a disease in the medula oblongata Gotta fit the piece~es to conquer this karma This path that seems to have been built for me to tread Along like a blind man with a quilt, seekin' bread Speakin' nonsense, with a never-changin' destiny Of battlin' with his conscience, what's left of me Isn't enough to feed, a deprived pack of wolves You'll see the Apostles revived before my glass is half full I'm baffled, did some fuckin' unknown power choose me To push me around like a caged mammal and abuse me? And use me as a tractor to pick up all the world's dirt And then dump it all on me quick thinkin' it won't hurt? I'm on the edge, like my fuckin' body's nerves just spread Outta my arms and legs to flow up to my burstin' head To build up there and rise like a loaf of nervous bread 5 min~utes before it's toasted in a hot oven temp Somethin's there, slowly growin', becomin' stronger Mowin' out my normality, each day rerunnin' longer I'm cursed, if I need to see the light and know thyself I'll thirst for this knowledge so much I might swa~llow myself What is this force, does it have a general name? Mythical like the Norse, no visible physical shape Is it too late, for me to endure and sustain This new rate of mental and bodily decay? I have to take myself on a discovery expedition Another adventure for you to comfortably listen To, the first trip, I've decided to make it written But it's also the worst bit of my deranged existence I engage in visions of pitiful catastrophe Of my life tragically endin' in sinful blasphemy What dragon's breathe, I motherfuckin' spit to describe A fucked image of life, there's fire in my eyes Nothin's goin' right, it's all in ruins and rubble Nothin' is clear, my life is just brewin' trouble Inside of my head, eternal torture is my mind theory Why can't I feel death if fire is all my eyes can see? any feedback is appreciated, but it doesnt matter... this was my heart and soul expressing sheer pain and confusion... i had to release it some way... |
sorry, i just read the rules and forgot to put in the 3 open mics i replied to... here they are:
LM - Mom I'm Sorry LM - Just Me And A Mic MonStar - Off To Hell We Go (Psy-cho) sorry once more |
danm u know wut jumped most out dat verse VOCABULARY...i thought u placed all ur werds right. Ill-ass verse, seriously 10/10 i think dats been one of da illest Open-mics
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yeah this was a nice piece (even though it was long as hell.....lol).........u had some very nice vocabulary and some good wordplay...........
good drop 9/10 holla |
^ thanks guys, all support and feedback is appreciated....... upping........
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Very nice vocab, very nice flow, try to make it a little mroe deep, extend the lines a bit more. I mean people say really short lines are cool, but they don't flow as good, to me at least. None the less a very good verse, 8/10.
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ty, ill take that advice into context for the next open mic i write.......... upping
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This was really good....it was long but it was good....it flowed real nice through out it, didnt really get off much....vocab was real nice, couldnt go wrong with that....Structured it nicely....your wordplay was pretty nice in this....overall it was a good piece, worth the read i felt...keep at it...and keep dropping.
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^ thanks, always helps to hear replies like that..... peace
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