No, it doesnt have anything to do with a member on this board who goes by the same name "Mind Theory".... this is very long, its about how I cant seem to understand myself and my life... ive been going through heaps of shit at the moment... and i dont know what i think, how i feel, or what i should do... this is just to represent how fucked up i am right now.... my first open mic:

A bottle about to bust from pressure build-up
I've concealed enough, it's time to put my trust
In my choice to use this as my voice of expression
An oppresive proffession, fit to release aggression
I have to make a confession, when your in my presence
It's all an fake act or con, pain is my true essence
And that pain is derived from strain in my life
That is delivered every night, but I didn't subscribe
To this mag of sorrow, this newspaper of strife
This hollow crater-like life I live through each night
I'm trapped in a physchological jail with no way out
Strapped to the electric chair, can't afford the bail pay-out
It's like a disease in the medula oblongata
Gotta fit the piece~es to conquer this karma
This path that seems to have been built for me to tread
Along like a blind man with a quilt, seekin' bread
Speakin' nonsense, with a never-changin' destiny
Of battlin' with his conscience, what's left of me
Isn't enough to feed, a deprived pack of wolves
You'll see the Apostles revived before my glass is half full
I'm baffled, did some fuckin' unknown power choose me
To push me around like a caged mammal and abuse me?
And use me as a tractor to pick up all the world's dirt
And then dump it all on me quick thinkin' it won't hurt?
I'm on the edge, like my fuckin' body's nerves just spread
Outta my arms and legs to flow up to my burstin' head
To build up there and rise like a loaf of nervous bread
5 min~utes before it's toasted in a hot oven temp
Somethin's there, slowly growin', becomin' stronger
Mowin' out my normality, each day rerunnin' longer
I'm cursed, if I need to see the light and know thyself
I'll thirst for this knowledge so much I might swa~llow myself
What is this force, does it have a general name?
Mythical like the Norse, no visible physical shape
Is it too late, for me to endure and sustain
This new rate of mental and bodily decay?
I have to take myself on a discovery expedition
Another adventure for you to comfortably listen
To, the first trip, I've decided to make it written
But it's also the worst bit of my deranged existence
I engage in visions of pitiful catastrophe
Of my life tragically endin' in sinful blasphemy
What dragon's breathe, I motherfuckin' spit to describe
A fucked image of life, there's fire in my eyes
Nothin's goin' right, it's all in ruins and rubble
Nothin' is clear, my life is just brewin' trouble
Inside of my head, eternal torture is my mind theory
Why can't I feel death if fire is all my eyes can see?

any feedback is appreciated, but it doesnt matter... this was my heart and soul expressing sheer pain and confusion... i had to release it some way...