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[week4] Mad Man (1-1) vs A2Z (1-1)
Topic: I Coalesce a new being
due date: saturday judging ends: monday get to me if you have problems... |
So We Meet Again Mad Man :)
In.. ..PS..What Does Coalesce Mean? :( |
co·a·lesce __ (_P_)__Pronunciation Key
intr.v. co·a·lesced, co·a·lesc·ing, co·a·lesc·es 1. To grow together; fuse. 2. To come together so as to form one whole; unite: The rebel units coalesced into one army to fight the invaders |
The night was still young, and it wouldn't end, by far
Bad date, I felt the hate, so I decided to head to JJ's bar Parked my car, far away, so they wouldn't ask for my keys Entered and said "Could I get a shot of Bacardi 151 please? Downed One shot, two shots, three shots, four Payed the tab, left a tip, and headed for the door I was disoriented, fuck, I let the door hit me on the way past Collapsed on the sidewalk, puked, and said "Boy, that was a blast" I grabbed, for my keys, as I stumbled headfirst into my car started her up, looked both ways, and thought "Damn this'll be hard" Driving drunk was never a big thing, it always came to me as an art I pulled out as slowly as I could, and made sure I ran into nothing parked I didn't get far, light turned red so quick, no reaction, nothing I could do Head on collision, I knew right then and there, that I was fuckin screwed A bad concussion, internalized bleeding, they carted me off from the scene Took a look at my wallet and ID, and quickly noticed that I was an OD (Organ Donor) It just so happened that the paramedics daughter, had nearly been killed the night before The exact same situation I was in, drunk driver ran a red light, and collided with her driver side door She needed an organ, to save her life, and the paramedic found it fitting A DUI, to save his daughter's DUI, but I found it side splitting They took the scenic route, making sure that they saw the flatline But how fitting that to take my organs, they made it just in time I died, and my organs were then transplanted to the paramedics kid And all because I got drunk, and the driving that I did I lost my life that very night, in an episode of binge drinking But through that very act I did, I coalesced a new being |
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OK im dropping right now...got back from my cousin's state championship game...we lost :(...gonna take a shower then drop...im gonna use the word coalesce to mean 'make' or 'create'...
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Living Room, Trailer Park, Sitting, Talking With My Girl
We Were All Alone, She Was Willing To Give The World 'I Love You More Then Anything', She Batted Her Pretty Eyes She Began To Kiss Me Gently, Crotch Began To Rise Hands Began To Wander, Creep Under Cotton Cloth I Tried To Get Under, She Gently Pushed Them Off 'Come With Me' She Begged, I Followed The Trail She Lead Into Another Room, A Place Seen Only In My Head We Crept Into The Bedroom...Undeniable The Lust We Made Beautiful Love...And Made A Kid For Both Of Us Next Month, She Came Over, Her Voice Stunned Dumb She Wept And Explained To Me, Her Period Had Not Come 'This Cant Be Happening'..I Took Her Arm To Sooth I Said 'It Dosent Always Turn Out Bad, Ill Always Stay With You' Her Eyes Glistened With Tears, More Relief Then Love 'Yes' She Agreed 'No More Me And You...Just Us' Three Months Passed, Her Stomach Began To Fill In And In Between Working, I Tended To Her Every Whim Till One Day I Came Home, I Thought It Was A Joke Two Months Premature, Her Water Has Just Broke At The Hospital Now...Awaiting The Child And My Future Wife Pride Is Laced With Bitter Hate..We Have Coalesced A Life Pacing In Agony Waiting For News With Baited Breath About The News Of My Girl A Son..About Their Life Or Death Birth Was Too Premature...Child Had 50% Chance Of Life And It Looks Like My Future May Not Have My Future Wife Out Of Spite, I Cry...Praying To God Dont Let This Pass Give Me A Chance...I Kick The World's Best Dad In The Ass At First I Thought They Were Doctors...Suddenly I Knew I Turned Around To Run...Surrounded By Boys In Blue Cops Have Me Cuffed, This Birth Should Have Been A Dream If Only I Wasn't Her Uncle...And If Only She Wasn't Fourteen |
Uppin
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Holy Shit This Is So Up
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wow this was two carzy out looks and had some wierd switches...Finding that no one bothered to judge this i will give my effort...
Mad man...you came nice with alot of word play..Not too complex but simple to the point of a nice easy read..i loved the switch up on the perimedics and it kinda made me wonder...Could this really happen?..over all nice piece... a2z....you had a nice verse as well i think your piece had really nice flow along with structure....wow the piece was something sad and instantly at the last two lines became sick and disgusting..i loved it..hahha you sick sick man vote=a2z |
Im Going To Have To Agree With Deacon, I Read Mad Mans
And Was Greatly Impressed, Then Just A2Z's Story , And Especially The Closer Seals The Victory For Him, I Totally Did Not See That Coming. vote -a2z |
Vote = Ass
First off, why did ya'll have to use Coalesce instead of Create or Make? Ya'll could of just went straight to the point but using a basic word, but no, ya'll had to use big words, lol. Anyway, pretty good battle. Mad Man, your verse was good. Descriptive, and stayed on topic, but it had the same concept as John Q. Other than that, good verse. Ass, your verse was pretty good as well. Descriptive, and had the reader focused from start to finish. The ending was sick as fuck though, yet funny as hell. Easy enough to say it caught me off gaurd. Good battle, but Ass gets my vote for bringing a better story, and being a little more descriptive.
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SORRY..i like using phrases instead of one worded topics..
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thanx for thwe votes...and akiro...its A-to-z....not ass
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ok here we go both very damn good storys...
both were so hard to seperate I just went with personal favorite here....But props to both for this 10/10 for both...... -Vote.Mad Man |
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