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read this freestyle tell me what you think
this can also be found on eminem.net under sn Krine_Sixty-Nine
=================== Your lyrics lack the eloquence of musical ability this is a fucking rap battle and theres no hostility If i wasnt up in your mom i might have some sympathy but since i am i know you are a low down drug addict you and your sucky lyrical comprehension makes me sick If god gave me a towel id strangle you with it when the cops roll up, guns outs, ill say its my business your like a die-hard wigger slave, always owned your so stupid its as if your 24-7 stoned your a wannabe perfectionist up in mandy moores fan club i swear the last time you got next to her you tried to get a hug but not even she could stand you she shoved you down nobody can stand you, here's my knife, get outta town =============== tell me what you think ...it couldve been a sorta battle but i rote it ... only took like 5 minites and at the end when i say get outta town i mean for him to slit his wrist what can i do to make things like this betta? |
the structure needs a lil work
it was good in the beginning but the words stopped makin sense fix the rhyme scheme. keep the vocab keep postin............................................ ...... |
Mediocre spit.. u got potential tho...
Work on ya structure like Free said... Vocab was good and wordplay was str8... Just create Ryhme schemes and keep elevating... on3... |
u should legthen your raps make em more official it was ight your wordplay is basic and so is the vocab flow was ok punchlines mmm ok and multis were good overall 6/10
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You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback to or this will get deleted..
but this was alright i thought...structure was ok, could use a little work i think....your flow in this was alright, it got off a few times but it was still good i thought...vocab in this was pretty good as well...overall this was alright...keep at it. |
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