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A LIFE OF CHRYME

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Voted For: Deranged

Vocabulary: Both, each had complexity and a high-level vocab.
Multis: Deranged, I could feel these, which added to the flow.
Flow: Deranged, His just seemed to come out more to me and it sounded good in my head.
Imagery: Deranged, I could feel what he was saying more then Mystic.
Originality: Mystic, the ending would've been expected, but Mystic took the normal approach to this topic.

v/ Deranged

thx.......uppin for more votes....................

thanks for the honest vote, still uppin for honest explained votes

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A LIFE OF CHRYME

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lol have you upped enough?....damn......bump..............

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A LIFE OF CHRYME

^^you actin like it's bad to up a battle a lot..........

Voted For: Mystic Chaos

lookin out my window...unbearably..at that sickening nightmare
flames imbursin the streets...the skies red..with an eerie light's glare
took a step outside..lookin at the sky..seein strange figures soarin
chains and thorns attached to bodies..wit their distinctive roarin
cars were flipped upside down..and bodies were layin all around
leavin me with a sense of fear...but I had to stay from the redound
but somehow..everything happenin to me seemed intimate to me
like i stood here before..or it's all been transmitted in dreams
it was hell on earth...but wit the opposition unseen..it was odd

WHERE were the defenders?..the celestial angels?......WHERE WAS GOD?
WHY would he leave us here to die?..WHy would he just abandon us?
Didn't he deserve all our trust?..all i see is darkness...no lust...

^^ i see u try to put emotion in this, but this part aint work for me it just didnt hit me like wow i feel him actully it wasnt good to put there i think u could of word it better maybe or approuched it in a different way it just didnt work for me the rest so far flows well and decent, preety creative un-till those bars right there...


all I believed in..all i put my heart n soul in..left us in affliction
cuz the truth raised it's ugly head today..that it was all fiction
but then..i saw..a strange...yet familar figure in the distance
i knew who it was..lucifer..the devil trying to diminish our existance
skin red from head to toe..with no clothes..& appearance in trandition
a smile from ear to ear...due to his sense of accomplishing his mission
i reached in my jean..a gat unvealed..and emptied bullets from wesson
but no avail..he stood there....grinnin with his grimace expression

^^^ now thats a way better approuch on emotion nicely done there, feeling the creativeness and flow and how u putting to story together.

i turned around..ran...but stopped when I saw wat was coming
a huge inferno of flame..movin to me..wit no chance of me shunning
it was like a tidal wave..stretching towards the heavens..arisingly
a tear rolled down my cheeks..as i heard lucifer's laughter behind of me
there was nothing left...it was over..armaggedon..i couldn;t save it
hell's done taken over the world that I loved..and the world that i hated
i shut my eyes..n felt the heat pass through..with the foul scent
my life n the world itself...reaching a sadden n bitter denoument

cool ending i thought u was gonna add a twist, but i will say this u had a couple of bars in there that u could of honest left out, which would of made ya verse way better, but u did show some creativeness towards the end the build up was decent all around decent drop fam, alot better then what i woud of done i'll say that


VS



Closely with my peers wandering the streets at night
Suddenly an outburst exploding street the sky turns egg white
Arising from below creatures of satan have spawned
Running for their lives my peers were suddenly gone
Watching in aw no further movements in my body
These creatures arising from the ground were the opposite of godly
Oddily watching hell take over the lonely streets of detroit
Creatures hazing people, but im untouched i feel a sense of exploit
Invinsibly froze standing in an odd pose as hell takes over
Operation has been taken as an exorcism of god its now over
Unfrozen in the instant as i take shelter to be un hurt
Quickly swarmed with hells demons screaming with outburst
Not believing the circumstances i am given a quick pinch to the skin
As i begin to revolt for i will not stand to see hell win
People start gathering surrounding me with help
Being battered and beatin by these demons nothing but pain is felt
^^ those last like 4-6 bars was nicely done showing emotion and creativeness as u get deeper into detail,
feeling everything so far....

Seeing this is going nowhere i retriet for safety on my LIFE
Pondering about my future no distinctive plans to survive
Looking up to see demons and the master demon in the flesh
WithOut thinking I ask him whats the cause for this infest
Answering with no thought well whats your sudden interest
Fearing for my life no response in return as the demons lead the way
Needing my soul for the extinction of god Thinking i will not live to see another day
Why is god not helping if he is about to be put to rest
Being irrational Satan lashes out, asking why i ask...no response at his request
Ready for extinction as im raised above the contraption
Hearing yelling in the backround but my mind is now lacking
The screaming gets louder as i open my eyes to see this devias kon
But opening my eyes not seeing the devil..but worse...its my mom!

HAHAHA,
i love the twist u had towards the end, the creativeness was good the ending was funny and a good twist you had nice emtion shown in ya verse the flow was like rolling off my toung everything went well and i think u had a better story but man those were some hard hitting topic drops cant wait to see what ya do in the topical tourney great read from both ya was basicly even but i thought mystic had a better twist towards the end and show a bit more emtion that didnt seem forced