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Old 10-29-05, 10:19 AM   #16
Dickard.
A Life Of Chryme
 
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Old 10-29-05, 02:48 PM   #17
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Old 10-30-05, 01:17 AM   #18
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Old 10-30-05, 05:15 AM   #19
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Old 10-30-05, 11:18 AM   #20
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Old 10-31-05, 07:02 AM   #21
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Old 10-31-05, 04:13 PM   #22
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Old 11-01-05, 03:11 PM   #23
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Old 11-01-05, 07:18 PM   #24
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Old 11-02-05, 03:02 PM   #25
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Old 11-02-05, 09:59 PM   #26
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Old 11-03-05, 04:37 PM   #27
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Old 11-03-05, 06:50 PM   #28
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Old 11-03-05, 07:34 PM   #29
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Voted For: |||DRKMAN|||

Mystic

OK,honestly..I hated your flow in this peice.It pisses me off.It also seems as if you tried too hard to make a complex peice with this one.And your content seemed "sloppy" throughout.Like,one minute you were talking about your mom being dead,then the next you spoke about life being so hard that u end up crying....and then..you end up GOING BACK to your mother's death again..and then it was your father...and then back to life.....know wat I'm saying?

Your wording was disorganized..
I would reccomend re-writing this peice..as the topic seems interesting.


Souljah


I Liked your approach to the topic more.Seemed more creative in my opinion.Your rhyming and flow was light years ahead of mystic's..making it a way better read.Only thing is maybe ease up on the "shakespearish" feel on some of your lines...Because me,personally,I hate the shakespearish shit..

You had nice vocab too...I guess that bible really helps huh?

Anyways..

Vote-Souljah
 
 


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