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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
10-07-04, 04:39 AM
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#1
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Bangs like bikini attol
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Nostradamus vs One-Man-Band
IP: D1F4 CDDD
Battle Rules: 10 - UNLIMITED Lines No Crew Votes No Recycling No Biting No Bullshit Topic: "Beef" G'Luck Kiddo..  Minimum posts to vote: 20 Check in by: 10-07-04 at 09:59 AM Must drop verse in 1440 minutes after check in. This Battle Is Now Closed
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10-07-04, 04:41 AM
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#2
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Guest
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IP: 48EA 7C3F
One-Man-Band has ACCEPTED this battle on 10-07-04 04:41 AM.
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10-07-04, 04:42 AM
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#3
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Guest
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IP: D1F4 CDDD
Nostradamus has ACCEPTED this battle on 10-07-04 04:42 AM.
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10-07-04, 11:18 AM
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#4
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Bangs like bikini attol
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IP: D1F4 CDDD
Topic: "Beef" - 52 Lines The Single Mother She was a single mother with two jobs, and still little pay.. Facing problems with heath, always struggling to pay her way.. She had two sons, but one ran from problems he slit his wrists.. This disaster traumatised the other, hes now with specialists.. What a life to live, and whats more the rents 4 weeks overdue.. With complications faced in both occupations from crack too.. Her struggles real.. Typa shit you see sugar coated on film.. Plagued by drama.. Her testimony really affects the way you feel.. Forget carma.. With fears as true as the tears upon her sleeve.. A riddle of truth, proves the fact that this woman had beef.. The Immigrant Moved for freedom & hope, still fleeing from his opression.. Inspirated on makeing an impression to spark a folk legend.. But fuck that, what he found was with nothing far from fear.. Un-employment, no education no papers and no career.. Inguaged with fear and ignored letters from family overseas.. Didnt want them to know of the hardships faced and recieved.. At times sleeping on park benches, & scroungin for food.. Not understanding much english, left him in a pessimistic mood.. Holding pride lost in public, evicted from home and his retreat.. Hes living proof, just admit that this damaged man had beef.. The Actor His time to shine is now, but others stay holding him back.. Manager aint making moves, its always "yea, Ill get on that".. But 2 months go by then 4 more, untill a year is on approach.. Realising its hard to live when your constantly fucking broke.. Coping with stress, even doing degrading gigs to stay in food.. Hoping the best days will come, but thats a quote never proved.. Feeling forced by his anger, hed often sit alone and cry.. Pondering his situation, needing space, questioning god why..? So as he stumbles onto conclusions, jumping a ledge onto the street.. Remember this is simply another story of a man coping with beef.. The Child She didnt understand, her dad couldnt stand up & be a man.. Beating her mom every night, she cried while forming a plan.. To escape harsh reality.. No more then 10 years old.. And already her soul had burnt out now her heart was cold.. She thought happy thoughts, at times even sung herself to sleep.. To the sound of screams having dreams hearin her mother weep.. Finally, on christmas day awake, mindstate at its best.. Walked out to find her mom bloody, she got beaten to death.. Dad was nowhere in sight, her life just fell in a heap.. Now how the FUCK anyone else wanna talk about beef.. Revelations Beef is common day connundrums, twisted by popular culture.. Just Statistical situations, Surrounding lives like vultures.. Im never sold on the belief that we exist without a cause.. But we as a people we need to step up, and realise our flaws.. That the worlds an unperfect picture, the cause of our sorrow.. One generation lives hollow, be sure, the next one will follow.. We were bred for beef, depression, constantly controled by hate.. Not realising the aftermath of actions, untill its all too late.. See beef exists within our minds, to twist and bind our fate.. Our brains reacts to drama, nowadays, everyone can relate.. To a life faced with hardships, stressed people without sleep.. Laced with uncirtanty & lies, man................ Thats the true meaning of beef.. |
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10-07-04, 11:19 AM
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#5
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I have a lot to learn...
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IP: 48EA 7C3F
Prologue: present day – In the evening So many thoughts runnin through me, hatred, regret and dillusion My brain was plunged into unimaginable depths of confusions My heart beginning to race, death isn’t something so simple to taste I stood here contemplating on this building roof, with wind on my face … 19 years earlier Lemme take ya back to 1985, the year I was brought into this world When this whole thing started, my fathers world twisted n’ twirled My mother was commencing the patterns of breath in succession When it suddenly stopped… The ill fate of death by conception Something my father couldn’t handle, with ease it was to bring him into strife He fingered a knife, eager to leave me stricken of life, for killing his wife luckily I was saved… he was overpowered, but I knew that dad loved her So he hated me… refused custody, and gave me to my grandmother She was all I knew … her little house was where I upped n’ grew in Just a shoe-in, but she cared so much, she was like a mother to me Always there for me, pulled up my blanket when I was resting.. And I was there for her… When my grandpa passed to heaven.. We depended on eachother, because it was the only relationship we had Cos of me she made with no husband, and cos of her I made it with no dad Changes As time passed, I started school.. Grandma made sure I was never there late Got me ready, packed lunch… And walked me down the road everyday I felt sorry for her in away… Whole days alone, damn musta been hard No one to talk to, no company… No more playin, just us in the yard But every afternoon she welcomed me back with open arms, We were still so close… stll spent plenty of time together, it was no alarm Hit a snag when grandpas will money ran out.. always used it to make do But we soldiered on, no probs, social services kept putting food on the table Teen Years – Beef as a calf At 18, I came home and found grandma, tears running, distraught I was duckin the law, I was fucked cos she saw the illegal drugs in my droor “Why are you doing this?! This isn’t how I raised you.. why cant I get through to you?!” “It was just a bit of weed..” “Your grandpa did weed and died earlier than usual!!” “That doesn’t mean I will.. See, look how small that stick is??” “Yeah that’s what you’re grandpa said, until he got addicted..” “But theres no addicting shit in weed, its fine… not as bad as cigs, believe me” “You don’t get it, it doesn’t matter you-“ “…forget it, fuck this…. Im leaving” - And so I moved away.. In the beginning, that shit was the hardest.. A little poorly hidden stick of weed.. And me and her beefing had started - Full grown It became easier to live over time, lived in a building, upstairs with some friends Some shitty apartment.. But I had a job.. me n’ the buds were sharing the rent Still did drugs… speed, weed, whatever need be… Aint learnt my lesson at all refused grandma getting involved, she rang 5 times a day, but I rejected her calls In the end we fell off… she kept calling, I kept palming.. she just wanted to try win me So id come back… I wanted to go back kinda… But kept ignorin.. too much pride in me No turning the cheek… So selfish and naïve… My future was murky and bleak Me and her didn’t speak... filled by brainless hate brought about by purposeless beef The beef is slaughtered… But… One morning… I missed her more than before, so I decided to visit the house Called in advance, but got no answer.. The phone just kept ringing on out Didn’t bother about it.. I went anyway, forgot about beef didn’t give a fuck anymore I just woke up and I saw it was stupid… So here I am bout to step up to the door. *knock knock* “grandma??” *knock knock knock* “yo? Anybody home??” … No answer… something was wrong, I was scared.. my blood turned cold as stone.. What happened… maybe its cos after a year, I suddenly wanna talk now *knock knock* made some more sound, nothing, I proceeded breaking the door down It was quiet… some thoughts spilled: was she dead? The idea sent chills through my head Had she been killed, stung by death? I moved to her bedroom, she lay still, on her bed … no… WELL FUCK YOU THEN Satan suddenly took hold of my soul, filled with hatred I lost total control I know she was old, but it wasn’t her time yet… I grabbed her.. her shoulders were cold FUCK shes gone, why? Death took her, came back and placed me in hell Left with no-one.. nobody to help…. Shit.. I didn’t even say my farewells.. I left the house I grew up in and the corpse than raised me, and got in the car My last words to her were “fuck it.. im leaving..” this time god went too far Epilogue And that’s why im here.. on top of a building ready to die I have nothing to live for, fuck it.. it’s a welcomed goodbye Runnin through that shit has convinced me, im no longer shattered Ive gathered myself… I leap… land on the curb, where my body is splattered I found myself in a white place… calling out with no answer Until a familiar voice heeded me… someone… that called me “grandson” ~-~ |
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10-07-04, 11:54 AM
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#6
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..:Merking Mc's:..
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vote - nostradamus
IP: 666C F77E
nostradamus: i was feeling how u had different stories, that was hot, good wordplay and it was kinda suspenseful, the single mother and the child were good and sad too. ya verses showed how different people all have problems, and some of the problems are similar, good structure. overall 10/10
omb: i was feeling your's but just not as much as i felt nos'. i think the problem was that it was all about u, if nos' would have did the same thing as u it would be a lil harder to vote, some of ya stuff didn't rhyme either like at the end of one line it said late and the next line was everyday, i wasn't feeling that, good structure, nice feeling, u almost got him with the verse about ya grandmother dying but he just out edged ya, good wordplay, it was better then nos' but he still got ya. overall 9.5/10 vote - nostradamus both of ya spit hot shit, so u know there's no hate return thr honest votes, my battles r in the front lines
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10-07-04, 12:02 PM
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#7
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...Closer Look...
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IP: 0918 D925
Voted For: Nostradamus
now all ima say is GOOD SHIT to both... but i gatta say poet's piece was much more ambiuguos..his piece was really interesstin...and even tho he didnt personalise his stuff like OMB..his part was more interesstin..OMB gave me the impression of WANTING to SEEM real....i mean ya story was cool...but wasnt as original as poets..no hate tho but besides ya "personalising" ya story didnt come up a lil forced..nah mean?...poets vocab was wider..and the way he arranged his story was perfect(on my opinion)... overall both were gd tho....but ^^^ xplains y poet takes this... keep on doin ya thang 
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Hit This Up And I'll Hit Your's Too
Yvonne-Early In The Morning S.K.M Quote:
Quote:
Now That's Wassup! |
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10-07-04, 12:23 PM
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#8
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<<-Carpe Noctum->>
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This was feedback posted for Nostradamus
IP: 7BE2 A0A1
just leaving some feed, great job on this topical fellas.......1
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"QUOD ME NUTRIT, ME DESTRUIT--AUT VINCERE AUT MORI" O Y D   *FluidMusic* *Poetic Scriptures Moderator* |
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10-08-04, 08:06 AM
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#9
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Bangs like bikini attol
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IP: D1F4 CDDD
Upping to finish this..............................
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10-08-04, 08:52 AM
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#10
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Back In Business
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IP: CE71 236A
Voted For: Nostradamus
Both were pretty good drops! i liked the fact that Nos took everyday situations in everyday life and did a short little take on how beef takes part in the lives of everyday people... he made it clear that beef doesn't always have to be about violence or gangs... everyone has some kinda beef they gotta deal with regularly... i think his structure coulda been a little tighter and he coulda used his imagery more effective but he got his point across clearly. pretty straightforward piece...no wordplay or metaphors...just the facts... OMB... wow... loved the imagery but it took a while to focus in on the topic (BEEF)... as always, you have great word-play... but you shine the brightest when you use your multi's which were non-existant in this piece... i know that it isn't necessary to use them all the time but I felt it would have helped you more in this one... I've seen you write more powerful stuff than this... not mad at it at all but it wasn't as strong as ya other drops... there was also a line that you faltered on: She was all I knew … her little house was where I upped n’ grew in Just a shoe-in, but she cared so much, she was like a mother to me ^^this was a sign to me that you weren't completely focused on this one or maybe you just wasn't feeling the topic or something... as the piece goes on and ya ideas start to come together it looks as if you've become more focused... but a little too late in the game for redemption... again, not a bad drop from either one of you guys but I think Nos got this one peace |
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10-08-04, 09:31 AM
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#11
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..:Merking Mc's:..
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IP: 666C F77E
i accidently left feedback but i wanted to vote, please count my vote for nostradamus
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10-08-04, 09:31 AM
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#12
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..:Merking Mc's:..
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IP: 666C F77E
i accidently left feedback but i wanted to vote, please count my vote for nostradamus
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10-08-04, 09:32 AM
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#13
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..:Merking Mc's:..
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IP: 666C F77E
i accidently left feedback but i wanted to vote, please count my vote for nostradamus
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10-08-04, 02:31 PM
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#14
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Out-Spoken
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This was feedback posted for Nostradamus
IP: AF76 A123
damn...good battle.....just checkin up on this...nostro..why you always gotta out do me..?!
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Seek & Destroy
We have fun in my basement Time is not long, and indecision is hells cemment. So the well is rented, untill heaven is relevant. Untill then, to be eloquent, sex cells, so le'ts cellibate. "watch what you watchin...fox keeps feedin' us toxin's..stop sleepin' start thinkin outside of the box and unplug from the matrix doctrine....but watch what you say cause big brother is watchin" - nas - sly fox The I.H.C.J.S.F.M.T.R.H.P.M.M.W.T.S.M.S.I.T.F.F.W.A.S. O Crew
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10-08-04, 09:36 PM
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#15
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Bangs like bikini attol
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IP: D1F4 CDDD
Lol...Still uppin to finish this..................
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