DaO
I wasnt really feeling where you took this topic. You had decent vocab, and decent wordplay. But the structure was lacking, and the flow was off at some points. It was straight, but nothing that really carried my inthusiasm through the whole rap. I think if you added more emotion into this and shortend your lines... Then it would be alot better. But keep elevating hommie...


-ILLunatic-
I liked your verse to be honest. I already was up there, but I really did like it. You had good structure, and a nice little flow going. You had good vocab, and alright wordplay. I liked how you carried the topic to a certain extent, but not all the way. Nice drop for a first time here... And keep Elevating...

-Vote-ILLunatic

Conclusion
He gets my vote for the better story line. DaO had imagery, but I like reading little stories instead. It was a good right from my perspective. It was a close call to be honest...
( Both of you please return the favor, even if you didnt get the vote. it would be much appriciated... )

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