^^need an aditude ajustment, if your looking for feedback and you get feedback, what's the deal? Anyways I don't think people should talk back, even if they didn't like the feedback they are givin' cause I think some people on this board, don't care and just plain out say "this sucks" tho, they shouldn't, it happens...I have a different opinion.

If you say this is one of your best, ok, it definatly needs work, you gotta keep practicing. The structure was good but the way you flow isn't constant, you need some sort of a pattern to make it flow good. The words were simple, and you talking about killing mc's isn't appealing...try next time with a different topic...keep writtin'

this line didn't make sence:
i suppose god chose me to make sure every 1 stay froze/