yo i put emcess into a deep sleep, in the street/
cus they cant upkeep wit me they must face defeat/
and i dont sow wat i reap, i rip or reap those who r sweet/
jumped to the top in just one leap, dismembered mc's in one fowl sweep/
dudes cant walk over me im just to steep/
killed more cats than manson wit a mic and a beat/
and i kno my structure off but the flow is unique/
i can switch in an instant, im only beyond the years of an infant/
hot emcees remain distant/
cus they dont wanna get disposed, wit sick flows i rose/
the rest stay at the bottom and decompose, cus they overexposed/
in each verse i enclose hatrid to those who oppose/
the iceman wit a flow thats outright tight/
i rarely write but i still burn like sun light/
im impolite and white, but tonight you might cite how i received this height/
cus i rip through rappers like im a knife and spike/
killin any ladylike dykes wit a mic/
i leave whole crews outspread dead/
filled wit lead and bloodshed/
and thanks to the infared, i shred holes in they foreheads instead/

im endin this shit on this note/
i promote those who tote shotguns under they coats/
i know mutherfuckers wanna qoute what i wrote and spoke/
but the truth is i leave uneducated emcees in smoke

vote on this shit, i think this is my best work so far ever

This was weak, in my opinion .. You sound as if you're very new to the game .. Ideas, content, all was subpar, and very, very plain. Nothing really stood out to me .. Verse was very simple, flow was decent, but that's because you didn't really say anything to make that difficult to do ..

Ehh just try to get more creative in your writing, keep elevating.

^^^ i wanna hear u rap you prolly rap worse than me your opinion is wat i asked but that shit was definitely not garbage, and is prolly better than anything of yours, you newb

^^need an aditude ajustment, if your looking for feedback and you get feedback, what's the deal? Anyways I don't think people should talk back, even if they didn't like the feedback they are givin' cause I think some people on this board, don't care and just plain out say "this sucks" tho, they shouldn't, it happens...I have a different opinion.

If you say this is one of your best, ok, it definatly needs work, you gotta keep practicing. The structure was good but the way you flow isn't constant, you need some sort of a pattern to make it flow good. The words were simple, and you talking about killing mc's isn't appealing...try next time with a different topic...keep writtin'

this line didn't make sence:
i suppose god chose me to make sure every 1 stay froze/

and i dont sow wat i reap, i rip or reap those who r sweet/

that was a nice touch...seem to be going for a raw style...can follow the flow an multi's are ok but the content isnt as great as you think it is...no hate

i can switch in an instant, im only beyond the years of an infant/
hot emcees remain distant/

didnt like the switch up...you was on point then tried to drop it to a different content style..didnt work well...

you finished off REAL WEAK....

drop feedback on this piece of mine..return the favour..

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...545#post1072545

see that is a good opinion, and i will genius

umm im uppin my open mic