Opener - I like the hook, it caught my attention really good. Nice wordplay, kept it simple and to the point. Thats a very nice way to start off a emotional or hype verse...

Verse 1 - It had a simple flow, and simple usage of vocab most of the time. I liked it though, it was a little story. Shit like that does happen. You did have some lines in there that I really liked. You also had some decent wordplay, and I can tell your wroking on your rhyme scheme

Verse 2 - ( yaz ) I wasnt feeling it that much. It was just to sinplistic with the flow and wordplay. Also I wasnt feeling the little scene you were flowing about in that verse. Maybe stretch the lines and add better vocab next time. That would help out better with it. Nice attempt though...

Verse 3 - I guess this story was aight. Things similar to that happen in some places that I know of. You had better word play in this one than you did in the last verse. So that was a good job. You had the same amount of vocab. Try to fix your structure though, its really messing the rhyme scheme up. It was a decent verse though...

verse 4 - ( Yaz ) You had good closer on that verse. You also had better wordplay than your last verse. It was alright, but I felt the storie got ruined. I was feeling it until you sayed she pushed her father... Im more of a realistic person when it comes down to it. You had alright structure, could be fixed a little. Add some more vocab like I said befor.

Overall - It was an ok drop, the best part was the hook. The best verse was the first one. It was just simplistic, I hate to sound mean. Im not trying to. Just work on your vocab, rhyme schemes, and your structure. Aight hommies. Nice effort though, seemed like alot of work...

( PLEASE RETURN THE FAVOR AND PEEP THE OPEN MIC IN MY SIG, APPRICIATED )

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