While its impressive that you are trying new things, this isnt quite Haiku..
The Haiku, or Hokku,use the count 5-7-5.
Traditionally Haiku are about nature and generally a 'Haiku' written about people, comedious and other non natural subjects is called a Senryu, to set it apart from the Haiku.
Nice first try though
![Smilie](/images/smilies/smile.gif)