You had a good flow, and your structure was good as well. I think it would be good to work on your vocabulary. Kind of extend it a little more, cause it seemed a little childish in the begining. You had an ok rhyme scheme, ive seen it befor. But thats not a big deal at all... Just try and be more creative, you know what I mean hommie. It was an okay drop, but it could use some work... Aight, I hope this can help you out a little bit...

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