--[Flow]---
Liked your scheme you had goin on here...you had alot of dope internals throughout the piece..you kept a level of consistancy about it, experimented in your rhymes and it pulled off..some dope shit!

--[Vocab]--
Vocab was above average, liked the way you didn't over-use or but also you didn't under-use it...you had some good terms that really fitted into the flow and topic, looked like you thought about what to use before your put it in..just didn't put stuff in there to rhyme or make it look impressive..props.

--[Concept]--
Outragous topic, you really filled the bars with some real gritty emotion and some real feelin's...it didn't appear to be superficial, came out real and sincere. Original[ish] topic, kept on point and really came through:
"Unknowingly, The Part I've Played Was Fake..
Apparently I Thought I Never Made a Mistake..
Cause That Would Mean I Was Able To Break..
So I Write My Life Through The Fables I Make.."

--[Overall]--
Very few pieces like this actually come through on Open Mic, you have some real ability and it showed...4/5, was one of the best pieces i've read in a while (with the exception of Dev and Such)...was of a high quality...good read.