Quote:
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Originally Posted by Phase Wun
I'm ready for war, an u kno ma punches will split ya jaw/
See this shits like a sale cuz u got more than you bargained for/ |
^ Didn't exactally go, [split ya jaw] [bargained for] ehh.. 2nd line is played also.
Quote:
Mixin atomic bombs wiv uzi's makes me cuz i'm about to x-plode-fast/
An fukin wiv me's ya worste task cuz i'll leave you like micheal J fox
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^ Another bar, that doesn't rhyme. [x-plode] [micheal j fox]. Both lines could have been redone better.
Quote:
without the Delorean-----Back in the past/
N fukka aftermath ima subtract ya life before mass after teachin u a lesson like u was sat-in-class/
An ima have-to-laugh cuz you bitches was warned not to stand-in-ma-path/
Now u gettin blast betta make like a bath n relax like radox/
cuz when i swing u get sent for a home-run like the sox////
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^ Ehh, not feeling these at all. Why are you bolding ever word that rhymes? Anyways.. "N fukka'', wtf is that suppose to mean? "Swing u get sent for a home-run like the sox"
Well man, you got alot of work to do, elevate, your rhymes are mad simple, you streatch your lines, to where they don't need to be. If you worked on a proper structure. Your wordplay is very very simple, metaphors can be worked on alo. Your flow is off, because you have to many words in there that don't need to be. Grammer is horrible. Keep dropping tho, you can only get better.
Stay up.