Yea i read this one before an i like it.....very good piece man there was emotion behind it an i could relate to a lot of it for ex..

In this polluted world of my head im jus a mere thought
Tryin to pull away from people tellin me im sumtin when im not---Ive gotten that a lot....i say fuckem!

You used dome good lines throughout.....if your lookin for something to work on i guess the only thing i can tell you is that i thought some of the lines were forced but i mean it was a good piece.......keep on writing....hit me up whenever you write anything new id like to see how youll progress.......check out my most recent piece its called :

I Bought Her Flower Today
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...457#post1151457