this peice was cool cause it's that much different than what i've seen here
one thing i didn't really like was how the rhyme scheme ended
u were usin some hot rhyme schemes around the middle ("go through....., show you....) but it seemd the rhymes were kinda simple overall
i saw more complexe rhymein through out ya peice so i know u can rhyme sick, it's just kinda hard to see the peice as somethin not simple(haha) when the end rhymes, the ones i find flow through, are kinda simple and repeated
excellent message overall though
keep droppin