I don’t do this just to be cool…I don’t do this just to fit in…
If I did I would just be a fool..That used lines that were bitten…
Because when I write I express myself with some true feelings…
That let you all access my hell, sometimes leaving you reeling…
Cause I write about reality, whats happening, just what I see…
Just what I feel, all these cuts I healed, this is just what I be…
Cause if you looked into these eyes you’d see torment and hate…
A ripped heart in pain, the pen n pad becomes your vent to make-…
Your emotions escape, to let go of things that create depression…
And Im confessin with everything I write I learn a new lesson…
Because I write about what I go through, I have so much pain…
And I show you, Just a emotional picture is just whats made…
Only if you all could just understand…where I come from…
A background surrounded by pain something I try to run from…
But it always catches up to me and brings me down in the end…
I try to act positive but things happen and I start frownin again…
Looking at all the negativity that just happens to come my way…
So I sit thinking about all the hate I have but that sums my day…
Times like these the pen n pad become my greatest friend I have…
I just write and write till I feel better, sometimes it ends in laughs…
Others with tears, But I carry on knowing what a new day brings…
A new beginning and new chances to take, so you say things-…
To keep yourself positive and it works even though shit hurts…
But it cant get worse till I hit rock bottom but I always hit first…
But I get right back up, I let it out, that’s why I write how I feel…
But this ink just makes the cuts go away that I now have healed…

That was nice, a nice way to progress it and end it with that last line
good vocab
good flow
needs work on multis and wordplay, other wise nice drop

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Corrupted Visions

i thought the topic was straight and the flow was decent..
i think the vocab could've been better, but all-in-all a pretty good read..
ohh and all that painful emmotion u expressed made me cry..lol(im lying)

nice verse overall

do me a favor and vote on this for me..knowledge vs dizzy hommel

peace

Thanks, Upping

This was Okay <-where have we seen that reply before..Hmm~~~LOL,,,
anyway,I liked this piece..you finally got off the sissy stuff(chump~LOL),your flow was good and scheme was good...but I do agree with Topic on wordplay..other than that..This was okay~~~~~~

P.S~you don't read my stuff anymore..I will hunt you until you do!!!!!

lol Sorry Man, Thanks Though, Upping.

Great piece man, emotional and deep. Stays on topic thru out the whole verse, and it has originality too it as well. Good structure... and your flow was unstoppable. I also saw some nice multi's in there. I thnk this would make a good audio, and Id want too hear it if it ever goes audio. Id give this a 8.5/10. Keep on elevatin.
Pz.

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[img]<center>
http://friendpages.com/pages/singers/punchline2004/photo26.jpg</center>[/img]

<center>...The Illest Conceptz...</center>

Motherfucker, delete my post again, I will e-slap you. =)

But nah, I'm asking a serious question, why'd you TRY steal Kredit's name?

And .. why won't you come back to Formula's diss to you?

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<center><b>true..</b></center>

Stop Freeposting In My Threads, You Got A Problem, PM Me Or IM Me On AIM

Upping

I liked this piece. You didn't seem as much focused on multis as other om heads, but it workrd to your advantage, cause this was still nice. It was simple, but in a good way. Easy read. Yeah, this was nice.

Your emotions escape, to let go of things that create depression…
And Im confessin with everything I write I learn a new lesson…
^Ill

But I get right back up, I let it out, that’s why I write how I feel…
But this ink just makes the cuts go away that I now have healed…
^This is also one of my favs

Nice job.

Drop feed here when you get a chance, please:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=112020

this peice was cool cause it's that much different than what i've seen here
one thing i didn't really like was how the rhyme scheme ended
u were usin some hot rhyme schemes around the middle ("go through....., show you....) but it seemd the rhymes were kinda simple overall
i saw more complexe rhymein through out ya peice so i know u can rhyme sick, it's just kinda hard to see the peice as somethin not simple(haha) when the end rhymes, the ones i find flow through, are kinda simple and repeated
excellent message overall though
keep droppin

hmmm
u write well about ur emotions and the topic
but the simplicity of it and the long lines detracted from it
feeling u on the content
but just up your skills a notch..
keep writing etc