It was an overall drop, flow was kinda choppie like ^he^ said. Maybe try and cool it with all the vocab. Its ruining the effect and emotion of some of the lines. I liked the topic, something new to see. You do a good job of getting people deep within what your writeing. The structure was straight, it was an over all good drop hommie...
Nice work...

( Be looking for " My Thoughts Pt. 3,4,5 " pretty soon... return the favor hommie )

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