First topical........

I sit up and stretch....rubbing my eyes with closed fists
When i finally opened 'em, it's like they couldn't get focused
I must be dreaming....none of this shit could be real
Waking up with cartoons? someone must have slipped me a pill
I went to bed alone....no one else on the mattress
So why the fuck am I waking up next to Jessica Rabbit?
And why the fuck is my alarm clock running away?
Lysol can looking at me like it's got something to spray
Slid out of the bed...ran to the bathroom to take a piss
The toilet smiled at me and started moving to make me miss
I couldn't believe it....the shower turned on all by itself
Hopped in and was fully lathered by the soap on the shelf
Jumped out the shower and watched the towel fly off the rack
Started drying me off....even was nice on the sack
Fuck it, I like this world...in the other one I wasn't happy
I used to spit loony tunes, now I'm chilling with bugs and daffy
Yeah, nothing but happiness...laughter around every bend
Imagination's for suckers...I don't even have to pretend
My old self starts to show...I do some shit out of habit
Like hanging with Yogi Bear stealing pic-a-nic baskets
I even keep a Grimace by chilling with the Hamburglar
Clowning bitches like Ronald...turn 'em into masked murderers
They'll always remember...mad thoughts in a solemn mind
I took the Punisher to school...so he reinacted Columbine
I snuck out the back unscaved...what an insidious plan
Rollin over laughing...'til I saw Yosimitie Sam
There he stood...two smoking barrels, one eye peeled
As I saw the bullets coming I finally remembered.......

......I'M REAL!!!!!

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