This was ok. The only problem was that your rhyme scheme was so simplistic. unwind/ur mind/man kind/intertwined....the piece was a good one...just work on a more creative rhyme scheme..it was straight for a first song..
Don’t wanna fight your war or live your life
Don’t want ur strife cities in chaos
The violence is rife forced in to gettin a knife
For protection, some turn to injections
Look at society’s twisted perfection

^I liked that..and btw, I care about the election.

Return the Favor..Image by me..

-Word

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