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Old 07-14-04, 07:36 PM   #12
KISI
atlas the vagabond
 
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Posts: 563
From: .:----:.
IP:

props to both battlers, decent battle today, but here's the verdict.

Oh yeah, return the favor and drop an honest vote on at least one of my battles(in the sig)

mishap-you had a good opener, and nice structure, i'm going to have to agree and say that i didn't understand the ''half field with bitches'' line, at all. and it's all about the crowd's thoughts, so something like that really hurts you in a battle. but overall i liked it, you hit him with personals throughout the whole verse, and that is key.

lilchi-decent use of the personal. he's from detroit so you went at his city. that's good. but the problem is the disses lacked creativity. Your structure does need quite a bit of work, but i can see potential. You've just got to want it. what line did the first line rhyme with? You see, me even having to ask that question is a key indicator that you have bad structure. Take examples from my verses, on my battles to kind of get a feel for what good structure is. One can have the best lyrics ever, but if you dont have good flow and structure to execute the rhymes, then ya verse can fall on deaf ears. Keep at it though.

vote=mishap

please return the favor and vote on my battles(in the sig)

thanks a lot.