-Strype-
Acceptin my challenge was a mistake.. only Sparkin a Flame
but Da Truth is I got Two Nines.. Bullets Marked wit Ya Name
^weak play off of his name to be honest...atleast u played off of his name tho...
Herb's too busy Complainin' .. Claimin' his Wackness is Fake
Roll wit me.. hit the ground harder than'a Fat Bitch on Skates
^heh...concept is played like hell tho...fat ppl-ground hard jokes...
Poor kid dreams about beatin' me.. stuck in a Foolish Vision
When my punches'll bend ya farther over than Ja Rule in Prison
^nah...
You never explain your votes, but ya always Askin for Favors
and ya rap's cold as Ice Cream.. plus it's Lackin the Flavors
^weak metaphor...played concept
Your style is awful.. couldn't beat me if I Handed you My Lines
so go'head n tell em your name.. how you Ran-from-me FIVE Times
^if it's true...nice personal...
now Grab a Clover cuz the Battle's Over.. this he Clearly Knows
Kid's bout to get filled wit more holes than a Bowl of Cheerios
^played...
I peeped your previous posts n' poems.. a Lot of em are Boring
Now watch the voters Trash your Verse like the Bottom of a 40
^meh...
Datruth29:
Yo flow is Pork Rine, I demolish Your Kind in Four Lines
Only reason yo record's 4-0's coz u battled the same spaz 4 times
^it isn't even true...
I spit acid, while you get dipped In It Like A Nacho
In any rap race i'll leave this nigga Winded Like Chicago
^1st line...metaphor is weak...winded~chicage...u gotta think harder man
I'll roast you faster than time it's self, make u "Live In The Past"
The only reason you got "Stypes" is coz i be "Whippin Yo Ass"
^meh...atleast u played off his name..gettin sumwhere
I'll Piss In A Glass and chase it with stricnine to Kill U
Even if u were decent, i'd cut my nerves so I won't "Feel U"
^your basically saying your a hater...concept was nice...if u worded it right, could of been a good punch.
He talks out his ass, I should give em shit to Feed His Asshole
N I read yo basic rhyme scheme, i'll tell Dr. Suess U Need A BAttle
^yours is pretty basic too
Behead His Type, between the lines I'll give u dem Redish "Strypes"
(Blood)
U lost coz U underestimated, u can't "sleep on me", like a Bed Of Spikes
^weak metaphor...
But as I said I'll continue to reign, slay u ass they All Watch ME
Take yo fuckin heart out like it was a part of an Autopsy....
^another weak metaphor...
Overall:...This would of been a good battle if it was a live freestyle, but ur typin shit...u can word things better...and come out with better concepts. Overall...I think that -Strype- won tho...he had played concepts...but they still were more effective than truth's weak metaphors.
Givin ya'll some real feedback. Take it any way you like, just tryin to help. Return the favour with honest votes plz.
http://community.rapbattles.com/showthread.php?t=135899
http://community.rapbattles.com/showthread.php?t=135882
pz out. God Bless.
- T-West.