A sweet story solemnly sets upon your lips
^nice wording..good opener n sence of direction^
and majestic melancholy music drowns my eyes.
^ok the 2 m's here put it off/1st n 2nd line should rhyme^
A tractile tear transits down my weary cheek.
And love's long lusts choke so I do not speak.
^i liked this line/flowed n was a strong sta.ment^
A sensational smile sweeps across my face
And your divine devotion devours my tender sore heart . . .
^koo line but again shoulda rhymed^
I watch wishfully as my fear starts to wince.
And your impeccable and imposed eyes say we'll never part.
^dint need and in between..impeccably imposed eyes^
A haughty hymn is heard throughout my soul
and impiety is impassive and yet still impetuous
^haughty..nice vocab..dint like the double II run again^
in your dedicated eyes I feel as a whole
^could've been written better^
and willingly wagered my heart to love
^that vocab is really nice gurl^
but what is meant to be? We may never know...
^i think you forgot a word here,but nice closer^