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07-14-04, 02:26 AM
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#1
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New to RB
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Love [Give me feedback and drop links so I can reply to yours too!]
IP: 729E 6154
A sweet story solemnly sets upon your lips and majestic melancholy music drowns my eyes. A tractile tear transits down my weary cheek. And love's long lusts choke so I do not speak. A sensational smile sweeps across my face And your divine devotion devours my tender sore heart . . . I watch wishfully as my fear starts to wince. And your impeccable and imposed eyes say we'll never part. A haughty hymn is heard throughout my soul and impiety is impassive and yet still impetuous in your dedicated eyes I feel as a whole and willingly wagered my heart to love but what is meant to be? We may never know... |
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07-14-04, 02:30 AM
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#2
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Light Weight
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IP: 7C6F 690C
ay nice drop...feelin it...really likin dat first part...keep 'em comin...iight peace
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07-14-04, 03:35 AM
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#3
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Banned: Cheating
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IP: 2E43 6BFE
i liked it it was nice
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07-14-04, 03:36 AM
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#4
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Banned: Cheating
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IP: 2E43 6BFE
PHP Code:
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07-14-04, 11:46 AM
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#5
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<<-Carpe Noctum->>
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IP: 3240 794D
nice poem, real heartfelt,you have some skills gurl........
__________________
"QUOD ME NUTRIT, ME DESTRUIT--AUT VINCERE AUT MORI" O Y D   *FluidMusic* *Poetic Scriptures Moderator* |
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07-14-04, 11:55 AM
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#6
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New to RB
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IP: 138A 298E
You guys all kinda suck at "useful feedback' lol...but thanks for the compliments regaurding the piece...
__________________
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07-16-04, 03:33 AM
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#7
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Banned: Cheating
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IP: EC0B 84C7
nice poem keep up the good job
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07-16-04, 04:40 AM
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#8
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Banned: Cheating
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IP: EC0B 84C7
that's hot way to go
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07-16-04, 06:16 AM
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#9
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Banned: Cheating
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IP: EC0B 84C7
good poem i really felt it
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07-16-04, 12:14 PM
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#11
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Im Short.Ur Fat.He's Gay.
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IP: C3D7 34B6
never posted in this forum before. ever......
Queen.... Your vocab was nice. Seem pretty intelligent. Flo was well sorted. The whole poetry scheme fucks wit me tho. Dunno how to evaluate the shit. But ur a sunshine so I tried. nice job -1 |
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07-17-04, 04:19 PM
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#12
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fuck da hataz B.A.M 4 life
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IP: E615 0B12
in highschool i use 2 love writin poems i guess dat combined wit my love for music influenced me 2 write lyrics but yea n e ways u good gurl u seem pretty smart ya english teacher must love ya but keep droppin n neva give up on ur writin no mistakes seen but da fact like carsonx2 da rhyme sceame fucked wit meof at da same poems dont have 2 rhyme but keep droppin mo poems gurl i gotta get a link 2 my shit but yea liek i said open mic check me out holla
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 VOTE IN THESE SLEPT ON BATTLES N ILL RETURN DA FAVOR WIT HONEST VOTES |
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08-04-04, 07:01 PM
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#13
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$Thug Life$
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IP: 7C6F 690C
yo i was feelin it and i also enjoyed reading it and all your poems
peace luv 4 u
__________________
OutLawz
*(`'·.¸(`'·.¸**¸.·'´)¸.·'´)*
«´¨`·..* G_$peed *..·´¨`» *(¸.·'´(¸.·'´**`'·.¸)`'·.¸)*   _____________________
Hot Songz
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08-06-04, 01:03 AM
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#14
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1926
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IP: A001 97D8
Daym, It Makes Me Feel Wierd When I Cant Critisize Anything...
But With Your Work It's Just Not Neccesary... I'd Rate It A 9.8/10... Again, Just Because I'ma Dick Like That And Dont Give 10's... Sorry I Couldnt Give You Something To Work On... And Ayo, I'd Apreciate It If You Could Respond To This Piece... http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=137391 It's Actually A Rhym But It's Real Deep And Emotional Like Poetry But Has Flow... Thanks Alot Fem, Stay Up... .One. |
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08-06-04, 10:45 PM
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#15
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cold cold, keep shaking
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IP: C256 09C0
ruff_tuff_thug u dont stop do u.
IQ: Great poem tho, u got ur heart set in the words too, and u can feel the positive vibes. |
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