aiight let me critique you real quick and this is so you can elevate im not hating on this verse here's what you should do to make this topical better...

1. The lines are a little too long it could kill the flow which you dont want to happen because 9 times out of 10 flow will be the deciding factor in a good topical battle

2. un-needed words should be deleted or reduced example.. dont say "an" say "a" it helps the flow..once again flow is important in a topical..

3.everything flashed in my sight my entire life recorded down
i was horrified and wanted this drug infested life ended now

Ok my problem with this bar is that you almost had it perfect but fucked up with one word... and that word is "wanted" when you said wanted and then ended for some reason i reread it i think you could have used a better word or a better setup like instead of wanted use decided.. changing one word can be vital to a topical in situations like this..

besides that this was a good piece and in time you will be one of the best topical writers on this board you already have the mindset and imagery down and your wordplay is good up your vocab a little and work on what i told you above and youll be winning countless topical battles

8/10

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RV's Only 3 Time Topical Tourney Champion