mimesis your verse was pretty dope, good imagery and wordplay, but the structure was horrible honeslty.. im a big fan of structure and i wasnt feeling either of your styles of structure for example:

mimesis:

Tellin us to be patient.. but we're just a lost victim in this hell
And, our only hope of living..
..relies on the monthly welfare checks in the mail

see the flow is off and the structure makes it look bad but...

Tellin us to be patient.. but we're just a lost victim in this hell
Plus, our only hope of living, is the welfare checks in the mail

Relies and monthly just werent needed in there... sometimes u can inder do it but this was overdone... slim it down a little.. everyone always loses good flow and structure because of unnecessary words... besides that you did preet good and came dope

overall : 8.5/10

fi-del.. i wasnt feelin your verse as much as mim's cuz it looks like you rushed it and your structure and flow is messed up also

exm:

ever since we are born life's been great
I even have my name written on a personilised license plate

slim it down

Ever since i been born, my life's been great
I even have my own name on a license plate

it just makes everything look better and sound better

you had a good verse also but coulda been better good wordplay and imagery also on your part and emotion was pretty good also

overall: 7.5/10

between the both of you, this OM was good i think it could have been better coming from two people like yorselfs but overall good job

overall : 8/10

__________________

RV's Only 3 Time Topical Tourney Champion