I am naked...
heart and soul, I feel so vulnerable and broken
turn away from me I cannot let you see my scars
is it external, internal or a drift of my twisted memory?
I try so hard to be all that is expected
feeling lost, rejected..
Am I true to myself anymore or am I fading?
A toy of their desires, their sincerity jading
Intermittent patterns tracing confusion feeling helpless
Fragmented sanity to fray reality clouding my mind
I slip further into the unknowing and pray for myself
I am nothing to them but a toy of sexual indiscretion
Ignored mind while the hands betray the sanctity
An object of prize no more a human of intellect
Words twisted to defy meaning of depth and intention deadly
Fake smiles with agenda hidden
I can’t be what you wish me to be
Starvation plaguing the strength within my veins
Cuts tracing the once unblemished flesh to vomit frustration
Laughing to hide the tears and crying to fight the fears
Unable to stand alone for my spine splintered along the years
Cemented to the pedestal and raped of my self respect
Images drought the barren emotions from abuse and neglect
Can you not see I will not be claimed by likes of you?
My heart is broken but held together by another’s fingertips
I am not a doll that can be sculpted to your fantasy
My flesh is not your palate to touch and taste then throw away
My eyes cannot be shattered and blocked from the truth
You cannot get deep inside me without vengeance unearthed
I grow weary of being used as your whore
And you shall never see me breaking
My smile will hide the aching
..I’ve lost myself.