Short piece, but the delivery was surprisingly good, i like your vocabulary and you packed alot of emotion into this piece. It flowed well too, my favourite line is...
If anybody was the one...I know that it would be her...
I know I am better off dead...because that's what I deserve..."

That right there, is a powerful closer. Gets you thinking. Good job on this though, 7/10.
RTF in my sig.

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