ok...I think this wasn't the greatest OM and would probably sound better as audio,
here's why.

It barely had any plot. it was flow for the sake of flow, and for most rap songs, ie. luda, chingy, etc... thats what they do... no plot just random ish to a dope beat.

-structure. your structure was off. i didnt like the way you used 3 lines for the same word in some places... it kinda through off your flow.
-vocab. vocab was weak for an om, again, good for an upbeat audio..
-imagery just wasnt there at all..
-good self glorification....

but eh, make an audio and id rate this better. 5/10

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=187849
^ feedback

__________________