i agree with l i n e . this shit would sound raw on audio i think.....you had a real nice flow....this kinda reminded me of Krayzie Bone a bit
keep it bottled up and mumble under my breath
till i near die and have another brush wit death
maybe then youll know that i aint here forever
maybe i wont be as lucky my nerve can be severed
i could end up burried like the rest of em in a graveyard
takin the same sentence cuz we all deprave God
that kinda reminded me of Pac especially the last line....structure was good....ok vocab you can up it a bit tho, this was a good piece i give it a 7/10.....i'd really wanna hear this on audio tho
return the favor
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=188394