hmmm, yes....it seems to whole first verse was more poetic than the second, seemed the style was inconsistent

but overall, i thought this was a pretty cool piece, creative and unique....althought some parts were a little weird, you manage to keep a good consistency with the storyline and mixed in alot of cool metas....nice vocab....although some lines fell off a little......all i can say is, work on structure to keep it consistent throughout the whole piece, and try not to sway from your topic, it seemed like you did that on a few lines.......thats my opinion anyways.........

keep up

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