^^^^^^ agreed....... very very agreed...... ill copy and past so u get the idea

Eh.....this was pretty weak , could have been alot better..
Your structure was off.. could have been better... try to line
up youir bars, and next lime use alittle punhclines....Wordplay was decent
The main thing you should focus on it your structure ..
try to make wel worded verses... nice punchlines
couple of meta's and bam good verse