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1926
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IP:
I Really Liked This...
Very Original/Creative Piece, I've Never Seen It Done...
Haha Even Had A Picture At The Top That Was A Nice Touch...
You Had All The Content, Imagery, Emotion, Ect...
Very Strong Piece Overall...
My Only Complaint Is The Flow...
Your Lines Seemed Really Long To Me...
I Think Its Because You Didnt Use Internal Rhyming...
So I Kinda Got Bored At Times Wich Sucked Cuz It Destracted Me From A Quality Piece...
I Understand You Were Prolly Working More On Content Than Flow...
But Maybe Next Just Throw Alittle More Into The Rhyming...
And You Will Easily Be One Of The Best Writers Around Here...
Stay Up Kid...
.One.
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