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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
05-21-05, 05:01 PM
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#1
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Whys That?
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Diary of a deathrow inmate
IP: 5285 DC82
Diary of a deathrow inmate
 The first sign of gloom Dear diary... Walls of white surround my exsitence,echos of hate fill my new life
while many seem resentfull I notice some enjoy this with spite everyone looks grim like they all caught a contagious flue of death lungs feel collapsed, afraid to take the devils breath visual's seem bleak,alot of manufactured feelings are felt I feel like a 45 year old man but abortion's been delt tormenting chants fill the air while an ery silence fills my mind tryna visualize my future yet regret whats been left behind a small glimps thru a window allows the sight of smoldering rain I strongly carry myself on my back to shoulder the pain with the shakiest steps I move thru the halls arradiatted voice Malfunctioning words,separating thoughts,my mind has eliminated choice 4 by 4
Dear diary
I've Slowly energised hate for solitary confinement
I wanted to learn alot before I die,Im excepting deaths my only assignment expeditions are mearly lethargic walks in a square circle Accurant accounts of the terror screams can be heard virtual re-cooperating isnt possible,with bible strong in hand I wait for my escape It will soon be time to strip my body of sin like death is my rape the light is dull I try create some brightness with excessive alliteration echos of silence are amplified by agressive reverberation Deaths walk
Dear Diary
Exuasting thoughts race faster than exstatic lightning
Im some what calm,I predicted it to be more frightning with hands cuffed behind my back I walk my final emotion split mind,shit reminds me like de-ja-vu devosion My throat feels harsh like my osophegus is locust infested Mind astray,I cant find the day that I originally got arrested Passing other cells,smiles start to dwell,everyone thinks im going to hell face pale like the thraox has summond me to eternal damnation Unsure if this is a positive day,filth gone?, like reversed contamination I observe a man is placing my destiny in the middle of deaths circumference Destiny
Dear Diary
Deaths is certain,my breath is hurtin the second they raise murders curtain
As they start reading my biblical scripture, I take a quick glance around If this was a ball room I guess the next dance is hell Contemplating why have I seen this before,maybe in my dreams? Im not saying a word,yet the noise I hear are my screams Un-doublty I have served this punishment in previous time A hear a gaurd say "it wont be painfull" , Im not beliving his lie laying back,im praying that power surges strengthen me to break these chains "Is it possible to pretend to die? I doubt I can fake these pains The lever is like an evil snake it raps electricity round a remorsefull soul The conducter is heartless,he doesnt mind that murder's his goal with one last body shake,a ghostly break isnt mostly fake Deaths number has struck seven time more than the wattage of electricity As I sit back and relise what ive just written and witnessed explicitly Im in shock not only from the 100watts of power but from my personnal conclusion Im mearly a ghost writting a diary about my own deathrow excacution @ aka Ysdat......... |
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05-21-05, 05:10 PM
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#2
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Whys That?
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IP: 5285 DC82
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05-27-05, 05:58 PM
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#3
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Whys That?
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IP: 5285 DC82
-_-
upping you lazy fucks |
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05-27-05, 06:38 PM
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#4
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B.I.G.
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IP: 3E96 BB1E
good shit..............
tight vocab!!!! 9/10 good flow 8/10 creativity got it done 10/10 hell yeah!!!! I like yo shit...... RTF plz...
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 Bizzacckkk |
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05-27-05, 06:48 PM
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#5
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IP: 0AE0 3B1A
Word i read this like 3 times already lol... But no doubt its still dope
keep it up
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The Competition
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05-27-05, 09:15 PM
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#6
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Whys That?
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IP: 5285 DC82
thanks for the feed.
up^ |
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05-27-05, 09:32 PM
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#7
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Poet's Daughter.
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IP: FEA6 7CAE
Nice imaginary fam, made me i was the character in this whole piece. Nice emotion i felt the what the character was feeling. Nice vocab and wording your shit good. Nice flow. I aint going to rate cause that's herbish.......Feed is a feed.
Leave a feedback in my newest OM link in sig. 1
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mystery Is a Freak!! ITawAPuddyKat: Yeah, I guess. But I won't be a Lesbo for life. Smartone Freal: oh so u DO have plans of turnin str8 ITawAPuddyKat: Well Yes, Yes I do. Smartone Freal:  ITawAPuddyKat: Lol, all smiles aren't we? Lol Smartone Freal: lol yea i cant hide what i think bout u Smartone Freal: ITawAPuddyKat: ...Oh, what DO you think about me? Lol Smartone Freal: lol sorry thats private ITawAPuddyKat: EWWWWWWW..*Sigged* |
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05-28-05, 07:14 PM
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#8
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Whys That?
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IP: 5285 DC82
^.............................^ uppin |
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05-29-05, 02:54 PM
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#9
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The Paragraph President
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IP: 6BC9 4CDE
shit this was dope um stucture has improved of you um complexity is very good here you use tons of vocabulary which made it seem interesting and the imagery is very very good keep it up man i see you have improved since ive been gone from rv but anyway good piece i rate it a B+
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05-29-05, 02:55 PM
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#10
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Back....
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IP: 30BF 88DA
nice. if you were or weren't in prison and was waiting death this piece made it still believable.... very nice words and i liked reading the last entry cuz it was actually the best. but the beggining was also good beause you built up some well I don't know the word but it made me wanna read more. Nice shit and RTF however you can. and you better.
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Back..... |
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05-29-05, 07:22 PM
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#11
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Whys That?
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IP: 5285 DC82
^.........................^ upping |
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05-30-05, 03:37 AM
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#12
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Whys That?
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IP: 5285 DC82
^.........................^ upping |
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05-30-05, 06:13 AM
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#13
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Light Weight
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IP: ED0E 26AC
yeh this is dope piece man..liked the title, the pic set the picture in my head already lol...
vocab is real good, flow is coo, nice lyrics also, really feels like someone behind the bars and has a complexity in it
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05-30-05, 01:53 PM
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#14
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Whys That?
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IP: 5285 DC82
.............................................
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05-30-05, 02:09 PM
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#15
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**the council**
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IP: 66FF 2DCD
this was a real deep piece, your vocab usage was on point and although at first glance i thought your structure was off....as i began to read i caught on to the flow. i loved the imagery you used and the powerful lines
a small glimps thru a window allows the sight of smoldering rain I strongly carry myself on my back to shoulder the pain Un-doublty I have served this punishment in previous time A hear a gaurd say "it wont be painfull" , Im not beliving his lie laying back,im praying that power surges strengthen me to break these chains "Is it possible to pretend to die? I doubt I can fake these pains ^^^just a few lines that i felt stood out.....nice job fam 9/10
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