I like it if it's a poem but if it's a rap it has no flow.

But I'm gonna assume it's a poem and I must say great use of the creative techniques.
Metas galore, alliteration, similies, the worx.
Interesting mixed up rhymeing scheme I'm guessing this is 2 mirror the persona's mixed up state of mind. Very clever and creative - O and also with the different stanza lengths, nice.

Btw Queen did u used 2 post on collosal minds?

__________________
~Wrekless

You know the rappers these days that snap then breeze ways//
In the opposite direction of the gat that he says//
He'll cap, if you aint on in don't say you are//
before someone engraves a scar on your inflated arse//

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